10:45 p.m. - October 31, 2007
But as I am with most shopping, for the most part, I know what I need to get, I get it, and then I want to pay and go as quickly as possible. No dilly dallyin’, no flirting with the cashiers that have their tongues pierced so they clack when they talk (ok, not MUCH flirting – but I can combine a minor flirt with a transaction you know, because I can mutli-task), just take my money, give me the change, and I will take my merch and be on my way.
For the most part, cashiers are if not on the ball, at least near it, or in the neighborhood of the ball. With the advent of scanners, it doesn’t take long to ring up most anything since everything has a bar code. Of course, there are the lazy ones who’d rather gossip with their fellow assistant managers about their baby daddy’s lack of child support, or good weed, or inadequacies in the sack, or how much they hate having to smoke outside, or SOMETHING ELSE inane.
And there are the ones that take forever when someone wants a rather obscure brand of smokes, and then looks to be about 16. You know, just smoke Camels or Marlboro Lights like everyone else in the free world, and not the Lucky Loogie Hard Pack 100’s Filter with Menthol, and they have one pack over by the brand that NO ONE buys unless they’re 90, and then the brands that the hipster doofuses buy because they want to look trendy to their art school friends when they go outside the bar to smoke. But these clerks haven’t taken the time to memorize the cigarette grid.
(Aside that no one cares about but me: When I was writing that fake cigarette brand, I was thinking it was a football play “Lucky Loogie Hard Pack 100’s Filter With Menthol Check With Me 88’s Soft Pack Reds On Two, Ready…BREAK!)
But mostly, because of Clerks and realizing that it’s not easy to spend an 8-hour shift in a cramped little area ringing up people’s vices and habits, I cut the cashiers a break. I mean, I think they’re Dante, “I’m not even supposed to BE HERE!”
However, I get really annoyed with my fellow patrons, who take for freakin’ ever at times, because they;
• Insist they check the 128 lotto tickets that they’ve collected over the past month to see if they’re a winner, and if they have winners, they want to buy more tickets, but they want part of it in quick picks for Powerball and then the other half in scratch offs.
Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time in convenience stores lately, and you know, they’re supposed to be CONVENIENT!