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11:09 a.m. - September 21, 2006
Pardon My French, Buy MySpace Is A Pain In The Ass
A while back I recounted how two raconteurs named Terri and Vicki forced me against my will to create a MySpace page. I would link to them, but sadly, theyíve gone behind the wall.

And I did, and there was much rejoicing.

I was late to the party, as always, but happy that I joined it because a lot of my readers and friends were already on there. I then met some locals via MySpace (which is odd, because itís not like this town are county are huge, but, you do tend to hermit yourself once in a while) and met some other interesting folks who have the same interests as me.

So, really, itís all been pretty good. I write blogs there that are just little trifles, covering some topics that I canít cover here, and I enjoy reading everyoneís little blogs. I sometimes post surveys and little memes that arenít in my idiom here, but theyíre fun to do so I may as well do them.

But for all the good, MySpace, is, pardon my French, a big pain in the ass.

For one, I had to make my profile over there private, because of all of the friend requests I was getting from some unsavory characters. Letís just say they werenít real people behind those friend requests, but rather much someone trying to sell you a product and / or service. And they werenít pushing Pampered Chef, if you get my drift.

So making my profile private took care of that.

Of course, everyone posts pictures on there, and itís really neat to see what everyone looks like and look at them having fun. Yet, of course, since itís the Ďnet, you wonder if some of those pics are real, or someone bought them a good set of internet images or something.

Then there are the kids that are in high school, but say theyíre 35 years old and set their status to ďSwingerĒ, just to see what happens I suppose. But anyone who clicks on pictures, etc. knows that itís all a ruse.

The male persuasion on MySpace is quite disappointing. There are a whole bunch of freaks and weirdoes who think nothing of soliciting my friends for some hot loviní action right out of the box. They post some rather unflattering pictures, and have a friends list that is nothing but skanky women in states of undress. And THATíS supposed to be attractive to a single female?

Gentlemen, please. Typing ďU R Hot. Letís meet and have some fun. Bring suppliesĒ will not get a beautiful, intelligent woman to come knocking at your door saying, ďTake me big boy! Iím yours.Ē It takes a little more than that! Gack. Men. And Iím one of them.

Some people are nothing but friend collectors. I have a lot of friends on there, but I try to keep in touch with a lot of them, and some are my readers and some are bands that Iíve discovered and been turned on to.

But my biggest complaint about MySpace is the way the site actually operates. Sometimes I think itís held together by duct tape and silly string.

They claim to have over 100 million users. So itís a huge site. But really, how many of those are active? How many are duplicate or triplicate pages from people? I know thereís a whole mess of people that set a page up, and never returned to it. They donít even have pictures, and they have no friends.

People also set up pages for other people as either jokes, or to get back at them for something. And some bands have multiple pages set up by fans. That 100 million is a bit spurious, of course.

So if the people at MySpace would do some diligent cleanup, I think that would alleviate the mass of users and make it a bit more manageable, because itís buggy. Itís probably the buggiest web site Iíve encountered.

When something goes off the rail, you get a message stating that ďan unexpected error has occurred.Ē Really now. Unexpected? Oh, I think when I typed in this bulletin and wanted to post it, that I EXPECTED it to be lost in cyberspace.

Things go off the rail quite a bit.

A lot of the times, some feature or another is down for maintenance. Of course, itís the feature that you want to use at that exact moment. The one thatís really bad is when they take some mailboxes down for maintenance, and they ask you to just leave a ďnifty commentĒ for the person. Well, what if the question is somewhat sensitive, or personal? You donít want to leave that as a comment, now, do you?

On the blog page, you can select something that you are listening to, or watching, or reading. Now, I always have music on so I always try to select songs, but half the time the search doesnít work and it just hangs there.

You can add music to your page, but half the times the songs donít load and sometimes the songs just disappear without warning. I tried to add a song by the Pink Spiders, but the next day I saw that it was Ďnullí which was very odd in my eyes.

You can always tell when MySpace is being buggy because it just will hang there for a while before drifting off into apology land. And that is the most frustrating thing of all, because you feel that youíve just composed something that is the pantheon of your existence, only to see it go POOF.

I hate it when that happens.

So, thatís why Iím often times angry with MySpace, but yet, I canít let it go. Itís the crystal meth of the internet, the bacon of the cyber world. It sucks you in, and you canít escape, even if you want to. I think I need to join a 12-step program for MySpace abusers.

And I will, right after I finish this survey Iím working onÖ


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