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10:36 p.m. - August 02, 2007
It's Too Freakin' Hot In Here...
Iím definitely happy that Iím moving to Minnesota, especially after days like this. Heck, weeks like this.

One word? Hotandhumid!

Yes, thatís one word. It all runs together here in the Heartland.

Of course, New Orleans wasnít any respite from that. I felt like I was being slow cooked down there and my juices were basting me into succulent tenderness.

Yeah, I know when I was in Minnesota it was in the 90s and humid Ė thatís summer in the Midwest no matter where you are. You will have a few days like that.

But here, itís been pretty constant. Nice and warm, and of course, heat rises, and the computer is upstairs, so when Iím online I definitely feel like Iím taking a steam.

Today, I took Kristin swimming whilst Liz and Katie were out shopping for back to school. That was fun, and the water inside the aquatics center felt nice. (One thing, though, is that Kristinís swimsuit is a two piece, and the top has a fancy plastic clip thing that Liz said was Ďjust like putting on a braí. Um, Liz, guys donít know about putting ON bras Ė their only experience is taking them off. So that was a challenge, but I got Ďer done.)

(See, the heat is melting my brain so much I used redneck vernacular! Heaven forfend!)

At any rate, the water washed off my deodorant, and so about 4:30, after spending time on the computer (and not doing much of anything else, really, except eating lunch, watching the Sox and Yanks score 8 runs EACH in the second inning and meeting with a realtor) I noticed I was a bitÖrank.

I always used to worry about that when I was a dating dude. In college, I wondered if when I was out dancing or something that the reason chicas werenít swarming was because that my BO was out and about. That wasnít the case, though. I was just a nerdberger before being a nerdberger was cool. (Thanks, Bill Gates!)

While I do sweat a bit more than the average bear, as you may have read, but no one has recoiled in fear and loathing from my sweat during normal day to day operations.

Liz has, of course, gotten a whiff of me after mowing the lawn, or playing softball or basketball, and has very diplomatically told me that I probably need to bathe again.

So this is an unusual event. I know that some people donít notice their own BO, but I most certainly did. Thus, a change of t-shirts and a reapplication of some Right Guard, and I was ready to go.

(You know, if I was the left guard on the football team, Iíd feel slighted that I didnít have my own personal grooming product.)

I blame the heat, though, for making me sweat so much whilst doing nothing.

Because it was so hot today - I would have gladly skinny-dipped with Ann Coulter and Newt Gingrich.

Now just try to wash that visual out of your brainÖ

Öand my work here is done!


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