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12:01 a.m. - July 20, 2007
For about three hours tonight, I felt that I may have had a Captain Queeg moment as leader of the family unit.

This was over Chips Ahoy cookies, and not strawberries, but still, it was close.

Let’s set the scene, OK?

I took the girls to Kristin’s swim class. She’s in the “parent / child” swim class. She really doesn’t like getting totally underwater, but I helped her float for a while. Katie was allowed in the pool as well and we had a good time as ¾ our family unit.

I had to go to the store afterwards to get some stuff – laundry detergent, diapers, sliced turkey, cereal bars. You know - the usual stuff you need! On an inspiration, I went down the cookie aisle. It’s not JUST cookies, I know – but cookies are a main part of one side of it. On the other side of the aisle are the coffee and tea and other drinks like that, so it’s pretty much an unavoidable aisle, really. But I went down the aisle just to get cookies.

Namely, Chips Ahoy.

Those were the first cookies I distinctly remember eating as a kid. Sure, later I loved Mom’s homemade cookies best of all – but my first rememberance of cookie heaven was Chips Ahoy.

Yes, they’re that old of a brand.

But they’re GOOOD!

Anyway, at lunch, the girls did a good job on eating their broccoli so I gave them cookies. I gave one for Kristin and two for Katie.

In ye olden days, Chips Ahoys were just thrown loosely into a bag. Then they started to align them into little plastic rows, and now, they actually have plastic sleeves over the rows of cookies – sort of like Girl Scout Cookies.

(In reality – I like the idea of having a bag o’cookies being an actual BAG of cookies without any other packaging. You know, it’s not like there aren’t enough preservatives or other chemically things in Chips Ahoy that just putting the cookies in a bag, instead of in a sleeve and then in a tray, would alter the chance that there could be contamination. Especially since the target demo for cookies normally has oogy things on their hands anyway, but I digress…)

I put Kristin down for a nap, and then I myself was tired after swimming and an early morning seeing Liz out the door, so I went and took a nap myself.

It was a nice long one – even though I was disturbed by a phone call, a cat nuzzling my nose, and Katie wanting to go get Kristin out of nap even though it was too early for Kristin to be out of nap.

I felt happy, and content – though even now, at 11:30 at night, I still have the ‘just woke up from a nap’ feeling in my head.

I made dinner. Lasagna (it was Stouffer’s – but hey – that’s good stuff) and garlic bread. I gave the girls some grapes, and they could have another cookie for a treat.

They finished their dinner, and so I went to get the cookies. I opened the package, and…

…the one sleeve that was unopened was missing.


Not there.



Or in the vernacular, “WTF???”

Mind you, I left the cookies on the kitchen counter, by some strawberries and bananas.

Mind you, when I woke up from my nap and got Kristin up from her nap, Katie didn’t want a snack – which is totally against her character. If it’s past lunchtime, she wants that snack.

Did I, in my sleep-induced state, fail to remember something about that sleeve of cookies?

Being as I have a 5-going on 19-year old and a 2-year old, I kind of knew who the culprit was – especially since one of them was napping at the same time that I did.

Mainly, I thought that someone had secreted away a stash of cookies to eat when it was bed time, or something, or other.

So, I basically said at dinner that no one gets any treats until we find the cookies.

Katie immediately blamed Kristin. “She ate all of the cookies!”

Kristin affirmed this, but she was just saying that she ate A cookie at lunch. The look of joy on her face when I handed her the cookie was almost unparalleled. Besides, there is NO way a 2-year old could eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy in less than an hour – especially THIS two year old.

So after I excused the girls, and before it was bath time, I had Katie go out and try to find the cookies. If she didn’t find them – then there would be serious consequences tomorrow. No treats, no quiet time, no TV, no trip to the fair – NOTHING!

No cookies were found. I even looked in Katie’s room myself and found nothing.

I gave the girls a bath – and put Kristin to bed. Katie was still lingering in the tub.

She asked me to get her out of the tub – and I told her to brush her teeth.

About a minute later, she comes into the computer room, saying that Kristin needed to tell me something tomorrow, but she knew what it was, but I may get mad.

I assured Katie that if she told the truth, it would be much better than if she didn’t tell the truth.

She started to blubber and howl…so I gave her a hug.

She said that she ate the cookies – the entire sleeve – all of them.

I was napping for three hours. I could definitely see how she could eat those cookies in that time.

So I wasn’t Captain Queeg with the strawberries after all.

I gave Katie another hug, but told her no treats tomorrow – and we’ll see about other things.

She then was concerned about her teeth. She did a good job brushing and asked for more floss. I think she was afraid that her cookie binge was going to give her cavities. I have to hand it to her – not every 5 year old thinks of dental care after a sugar high.

After Katie was put to bed, I called Liz. She, being the wise woman and quite experienced at this, said that she immediately puts cookies on the very top shelf of the pantry just in case something like this happens.

But I never thought it would at this age. I mean, as a teenager Moose and I used to have races to see how fast we could eat a sleeve of Thin Mints, but we were 17 and stupid – Katie is just five.

But perhaps I underestimate her. Actually, I really think I do.

So, Cookiegate has been solved, and all is well again. I’m not going crazy – I just have a normal kid who likes cookies.

I mean, she had means, motive, and opportunity…


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