|
10:37 a.m. - April 30, 2007 Shocked, shocked I am that the National Football League would pass up a commodity as valuable as me. I had realistic expectations. I mean, I let Katie watch her programs until about 1:30 or so on Saturday and then I started to watch the first round of the draft. I didn�t think I�d be picked that early, but you never know. Of course, ESPN didn�t think I�d be picked that early, nor did the NFL Network, since I had no cameramen in my house Saturday. After a while, I let Katie back on the TV, but I made sure I TiVoed the draft. I not only wanted to see who the Colts picked in the first round, and also where Brady Quinn ultimately wound up, but I also had a faint glimmer that I would hear NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell say, �With the 29th pick of the 2007 NFL Draft, the Baltimore Ravens select: SmedIndy, quarterback, Wabash College.� Alas, no such luck. Since I wasn�t picked in the first round on Saturday, I flipped off the TV and made dinner for the girls, and gave them baths and put them to bed. I thought my time was better served doing that and then futzing with my iTunes instead of watching the draft. They knew my number (I�m in the book) and could have easily called me if I was drafted. I awoke Sunday, and I was still unemployed in the NFL. Ah well. There were things to do. We got the girls to Sunday school and church, and then I stayed behind to finish the audit of the books. Liz took Katie to her friend Basim�s house, and when she came back I went out to mow the lawn. (If I didn�t, we�d have needed a herd o� goats). I�m sure that if I was selected Liz would have run out and told me. After I finished the lawn I clicked onto ESPN to see the draft ticker, and to see if they just missed calling my name when I was out finishing in the yard. Nope. I did hear Suzy Kolber talking about how JaMarcus Russell can throw the go route, and I realized that Liz wouldn�t know a go route from a tuna-fish sandwich. But of course, Liz has many other fine qualities which are much more impressive. The rest of the day came and went and I was not selected at all. Not even as Mr. Irrelevant � the last player chosen in the draft. Ramzee Robinson from Alabama had that distinction, and what does he have that I don�t have? Well, he runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, has great hands and is a good cover cornerback. But the downside is he has to play for the Lions! So yet again I wasn�t picked in the draft. Ah, well. You see, though, I think I could be an outstanding third string quarterback for an NFL team, though. Even though I have not played organized football since sixth grade, I could help an NFL franchise. 1. It wouldn�t take me long to learn an offense.
Now, in my day, I think I could have been a fine NBA player in garbage time minutes. I�d play the last five minutes of blowouts so your actual players wouldn�t get hurt. Same for baseball � I would have gladly pitched the last couple of innings in a blowout to save the arms of the rest of the team. No one took me up on that offer, though, and at 41 I�d be totally gassed playing a few minutes of an NBA game, and my shoulder makes all kinds of go-funny noises when I throw, so baseball would be out. Alas, not meant to be. But am I bitter that I never got to hear the talking heads on ESPN yell at each other about my prowess on the football field? Nah, not really. You see, I�ll tell you a secret� I�d be scared to death that some 6�6 340 lb. defensive lineman would break me in two when he high-fived me. Yet if chosen in the draft, I would have served. But only for the paycheck, you know. Because I�m a greedy self-serving athlete like that. Heh�
|