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10:13 a.m. - April 17, 2007
Smed Vs. Doorknobs
You know my first rule of home repair.

ďPay for someone to do it.Ē

Iím not a constructicon, Iím a destructicon.

Case in point, right now we have two door knobs that are totally broken, and Iím the last one to use them.

About three weeks ago, I was going down into the basement. The basement door needs replacing, for sure, and the doorknob I think was very old school. But we had put a doorknob protector on it so Kristin couldnít grab it and walk downstairs.

Well, I was going to grab some pizza for dinner, and our big freezer is downstairs. That doorknob protector is always tricky. Itís almost adult proof.

I grabbed the doorknob, gave it a yank and a twist (you have to yank on the door to open it, since the house has settled a bit (understatement of the year)) andÖ.


I was left holding the knob, while hardware spilled onto our floor.


Well now, this is quite the predicament. Can I still get the pizza?

Yes, thereís enough of a gap that you can give the door a yank and open up the door.

So the pizza was acquired, and all was well with the world. Well, except for the fact that we had a broken doorknob.

I looked at it, and I thought I had it put back together, but it didnít hold.

Well, we do need to get a better door in there, and we can open up the door with a yank (though Iím afraid that one day the door will just give out, and then there will be chaos, anarchy, and cats down in the basement), so hopefully we can ride out the inconvenience until the door is fixed.

And now, we have another door to fix.

Saturday, I was doing due diligent work in the hizzy (yo) and was locking the outside door to our porch. Now, when youíre opening the lock, itís a bit tricky since you have to pull the door towards you to make sure the little bar moves back from the door.

Well, when youíre locking it, you donít need to do that.

And I did.

And I heard this Ďcrackí and had a door knob in my hand, and heard this Ďping ping pingí outside.

Basically, the doorknob assembly cracked in the middle, in the place that houses the screws that connect the doorknob onto both sides of the door.

Oh, great.

Now, can anyone open that door?

I went outside to pick up the rest of the doorknob, and I could open the door. There was enough of a place to grip the door, but you really canít be carrying anything, so itís going to be tricky with groceries and / or children.

So, the count thus far is Doorknobs 2, Smed 0. And I need to get someone warming up in the pen.


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