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10:43 a.m. - January 18, 2007
James, King James
I’m a lefty, and I’m OK.

No, I don’t write or throw lefty. If I threw lefty, I’d be pitching in the major leagues right now, or still be trying to. Even at age 41, if you can throw strikes and a curveball, left handed, you can get paid.

But my politics are to the left – which means here in BFE land I’m somewhere between “Commie” and “Terrorist”.

That doesn’t really fit though. I can’t grow a full beard to be a terrorist, and I like my colors, especially my lavender shirt, so I can just wear all drab clothes. Though I can grow a Lenin goatee, and then all I’d need is a cap like he wore.

(Things to do: Get cap. Grow goatee. Start revolution. Install yourself as leader. Form secret police. Smite enemies.)

Anywho…I digress.

I am becoming a bit more spiritual, and not in the “Lord, I need to hit the lottery” way. But my beliefs are pretty well known. You know, love your neighbor and all that. I’m not what you call a fan of the religious right.

But yet…my Bible of choice?

The King James!


Well, there are reasons, and yes, I’m hear to tell you ‘bout them.

(You think I’d keep it a secret??)

Yes, I do realize there are translation errors, but it’s the closest to the original text that we have. The books of the Bible have been translated from Greek to Latin to English, and since I don’t read Greek or Hebrew or Aramaic, I have to say that the people who did the translations did the best they could.

Which raises a point – the people who take the Bible literally, word for word, are dealing with translations of translations of translations from stories that were oral histories and recountings of tales passed through generations.

Think of this, Moses parting the Red Sea makes for a smashing scene in a film, yet it’s plausible that instead of the Red Sea, it was actually the Reed Sea that was parted. The Reed Sea doesn’t exist anymore, due to the Suez Canal, but the words are very similar in Hebrew, and it doesn’t make it any less miraculous that a small, marshy sea parted for the Hebrews and then came back for the Egyptians and bogged them down.
So the King James is closest to the source text. Again, there are errors, but still, it’s pretty accurate as a word-for-word translation.

The other translations are meaning-for-meaning, which I think is less accurate and subject to the translator’s bias.

But the main thing I love about the King James Bible is the language. It really has a beauty and grace all its own.

And when God gets angry, then that language really puts a can of whup-ass on people.

Look at Matthew 23. Especially near the end. Ye serpents! Ye generations of vipers!

Ouch babe. Jesus, tell it like it is!

I think we need to return to some of that language. Not for every day use, because I get mixed up with the thees and thous and what not.

Some songs would sound great in King James English, like

“Thou has spun me right round….”

But I think it would be hard to put King James English over a disco beat.

Here endeth the lesson for today, homies. Peace, out! Word!


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