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9:57 a.m. - November 01, 2006
A Successful Halloween
Halloween went off without a hitch last night – well, except for Smed, the dumbass. But that was a minor glitch in the proceedings.

Of course, there was candy to be had at Montessori, so Katie was already a bit sugared up when she started to get ready for trick or treating. Because of the chill, she had to wear a long shirt under her princess dress, but it looked cute.

Kristin looked cute as well, but she had no idea what was going on, except she was in a pink dress and she was carrying a candy basket that looked like Elmo.

Meanwhile, my nephew and Liz were on door duty on the night. Last year, we didn’t get much traffic, and I did not anticipate much this year. A lot of the houses around us are, well, creepy and empty, so not a lot of people come up this way to trick or treat. Again, Main Street is where it’s at – which just boggles the mind.

I mean, it’s not like the people that live there are loaded or anything. I guess it’s just a tradition, or something.

So, I plan our trick or treating attack. We had definite stops to make – Mom and Dads, Diamond’s (gotta say hi to the big boss), and Katie’s preschool teacher and the lady that helps them with Japanese in pre-school (no kidding)!

So, I thought we’d also go to my sister’s place. We’d go east, and sweep through the town east to west in a concentrated, compact movement, protecting our flanks all the while.

(Wow, I think I’ve been watching too much of that WW I documentary series).

So, we drive out to my sister’s house – and no lights are on. OK, so then to Mom and Dad’s.

Well, Mom and Dad live in a little complex where all of the units look alike. It was already dark and I pulled into where I thought their place was.

We got out of the car and knocked. Nothing. The door was locked. That’s very odd – but maybe they went to Uncle Smiley’s (“Home Of The Big Oink” – and no I’m not kidding) for dinner or something. But it was after 6, and my parents are definitely on the old person’s eating timeline. So this was curious.

I was going to call them, but I thought I had forgotten my phone. So, we went to Diamond’s.

My parents live on the far east side of town. Diamond lives near the middle, and the teachers all live out on the far west outskirts of town, so this was a haul. But we got to Diamond’s, and finally, there was trick or treating to be had. Candy was procured, and the requisite comments about ‘how cute’ the girls were given.
So now we got in the car, and lo and behold, there’s my cell phone. Yeesh. Not enough “Ds” in dumbass there. So I call Dad, and sure enough, they were home.

Well, I’m definitely going to have to turn back and get them, but first I needed to go to the Montessori teachers’ houses.

Kristin is just quiet and content, playing with her bag o’ goodies in the backset. Meanwhile, Katie, from the moment she got in the car, has done a one-girl show about trick or treating, and candy, and Halloween.

If it was about shrimp, I’d have sworn it was a movie come to life in the back seat of the car.

Off we went to the teachers’ houses, which are in additions off of the road to the Country Club. That road is a twisty little sucker that a good grand prix driver would enjoy, and I was hot footing it to get to the houses, then get back to Mom and Dad’s and then get Kristin home for bed before Katie and I went out and braved Main Street for a while.

Katie’s one-girl show was now in its third act – and tickets are going fast, people.

We arrive at the teacher’s house, and get candy and more ‘how cute’ talk, pile back in the car, and dash off to the Japanese helper’s house. There’s a van in front of me, and we reach a part of the road where the road takes a right turn, but there’s a road off to the left that goes back to town.

The van in front stops, and I think of the worst. I wasn’t following that closely, was I? A few years ago, on a country road outside of Lafayette, some idiot slowed up in front of me, wouldn’t let me pass, and then verbally accosted me at a stop sign (though I didn’t get out of the car and turned up the stereo so the hilljack wouldn’t bother me). I had the two girls here too.

No, he was just lost and needed to get back to town. I told him to turn left there and follow that road. Whew!

So we’re off, get more candy, and then wend our way back to Mom and Dad’s. I decide to take that same road back to town, and work my way to Mom and Dad’s using the side streets and come in through the back way. I zoom to about 60 on this road, and as I pass a car, I swear I see lights flash like it’s a police car, but no one follows me and I safely make it to Mom and Dad’s complex.

Yep, I’m an idiot. I parked one too early.

Katie and Kristin dazzled their Mamaw and Papaw with their costumes and they really brightened up the room. But soon, it was time to get back home with Kristin so she could go to bed.

Katie unloaded her candy supply, and armed with an empty pumpkin we attacked Main Street.

OK, a few houses in about a block radius, but still, attack it we did.

There were all kinds of cute little kids running around, and some middle school kids dressed as the Pink Ladies from Grease.

But then I saw what I consider to be horrible violations of the Halloween honor code.

Teenagers, WITHOUT a costume, trick or treating.

That’s just wrong. Totally wrong.

I hope they got all the crappy candy, like Zagnuts or Chuckles.

After a half dozen houses, Katie was tuckered out. Trick or treating is hard work, you know.

Back at home, she was allowed to eat three pieces of candy and then she went right to bed, dreaming of ghouls and goblins and candy, of course.

All in all it was another successful Halloween, except for one thing.

Our waistlines don’t need the leftover candy, and alas, here it is, all over the house. Wanna share?


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