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9:41 a.m. - July 20, 2006 Location: The Editorial Board Room at SmedCo. Reason: Discussing the perceived loss of quality of the signature product, �Smed�s Corner�. The transcript follows:
Flunky 1: Sir, we did Bartelby a few weeks ago and that was a smash! Chief: A smash, huh? It confused a lot of people! Flunky 1: That was the point, to get people to think and react. Chief: Well, some people don�t like to be duped. Flunky 1: Yeah, but I think that got passed around a little bit. Chief: Anyway, the writing isn�t as good, and the ideas are stale. What happened to the classic Smed�s Corner? You know, the KY Jelly riff, the heartstrings about the kids and Liz, the listing of the patron saints. Ideas like that. We need them, people! Flunky 2: We�re trying sir. Flunky 1: These things just don�t happen overnight. Some of the work is tied up in lab and in testing. Chief: Maybe we test too much! Maybe we spend too much time in the lab! Are any of these pieces close to roll out? Flunky 2: Let me see�there�s something on Craigslist in BFE land that is close to coming together. Also one on the restaurants here in this town, and one on �dirty bubblegum� music. Chief: I�ve read treatments of that dirty bubblegum music. Again, with the obscure. I�m not convinced. It seems inconsequential and tangential. Flunky 1: We�ve been our best when we�ve been edgy and obscure. Flunky 2: And the whole franchise is built on inconsequential and tangential. Chief: No, it�s not. It�s built on heart and soul and feeling and emotion. It�s built on blood, sweat, and tears and toil and triumph. Flunky 2: Uh, chief. I don�t remember a lot of blood and sweat in the Lazytown essay. Chief: But there was in the one about Smed and his sweating. Flunky 1: Yeah, but that was also silly. Chief: And revealing. Flunky 1: But you didn�t like the ear thing. Chief: There�s a difference, really. Flunky 2: Oh, I don�t know. Chief: Listen�what we need is more stories of the kids. More stories of the family, and of the inanity. Flunky 1: We�re working on some dinnertime stuff. It takes time. Chief: Well, cook something up then. Flunky 2: Yeah, but there�s the deal with Liz�s mom. That could happen any time now and you don�t want to have something silly on the page when that happens, do you? Chief: We�ll deal with that when the time comes. Flunky 1: We could ask her to write something else. Chief: Maybe. Maybe her reaction to the Zolofted Smed? Flunky 2: Yeah, that may work. Chief: Mark it down. It�s going on the whiteboard. Flunky 1: What about music? Chief: Well, I do know Smed is hard at work at a big mix, and then a couple of others will follow. I�ll have to check the progress. But what are the trends with his music posts? Flunky 2: It depends. Chief: I don�t want that answer. I want data � go gather it and give me a report in the morning. Flunky 2: Yes sir. But sir, I really think the quality hasn�t diminished. Chief: Any ideas why comments are down and views are steady? Flunky 2: Yeah, it�s summertime. People are on vacation and out doing things! Chief: Yes, but we need to give them a reason to bring their laptops on vacation and plug into the Wi-Fi. Flunky 1: Some people don�t like doing that sir. They like to be unplugged. Chief: Ah, well then. Any other ideas on how to grow readership? Flunky 2: Well, you could go back to Blogmad. Chief: That�s faux, really. No one really reads that much, they just click through to get more views. Besides, I want readers who STAY! I want content to make them STAY! We need better content! Flunky 1: Well, we can always tell Smed to do some wackier, inane things. Chief: That may work, but those things can�t be staged. They need to be organic. Flunky 2: So tripping down the back stairs again with a full glass of wine is out. Chief: That horse is out of the barn already. How about something on him and the cats? Flunky 1: OK. Chief: Put that one on the whiteboard. Flunky 2: Roger wilco. Chief: Let�s get cracking. Tell the lab and the test marketers to up production. Hire more temps if you need to. I don�t want to just throw bodies at this, but we need better production, better development and better stories. Dismissed!
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