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9:41 a.m. - July 20, 2006
The Editorial Meeting
To All Personnel: Editorial Meeting, Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Location: The Editorial Board Room at SmedCo.

Reason: Discussing the perceived loss of quality of the signature product, �Smed�s Corner�.

The transcript follows:


Chief: We seem to have a problem here, and I�ll cut right to the chase. There�s a downward trend here at SmedCo. Comments are down, there�s no growth in page views or daily visitors. Come on people. Ear wax? Obscure movies? Another thing about the trash? Rehashing the lawn mowing? Where are the new ideas?

Flunky 1: Sir, we did Bartelby a few weeks ago and that was a smash!

Chief: A smash, huh? It confused a lot of people!

Flunky 1: That was the point, to get people to think and react.

Chief: Well, some people don�t like to be duped.

Flunky 1: Yeah, but I think that got passed around a little bit.

Chief: Anyway, the writing isn�t as good, and the ideas are stale. What happened to the classic Smed�s Corner? You know, the KY Jelly riff, the heartstrings about the kids and Liz, the listing of the patron saints. Ideas like that. We need them, people!

Flunky 2: We�re trying sir.

Flunky 1: These things just don�t happen overnight. Some of the work is tied up in lab and in testing.

Chief: Maybe we test too much! Maybe we spend too much time in the lab! Are any of these pieces close to roll out?

Flunky 2: Let me see�there�s something on Craigslist in BFE land that is close to coming together. Also one on the restaurants here in this town, and one on �dirty bubblegum� music.

Chief: I�ve read treatments of that dirty bubblegum music. Again, with the obscure. I�m not convinced. It seems inconsequential and tangential.

Flunky 1: We�ve been our best when we�ve been edgy and obscure.

Flunky 2: And the whole franchise is built on inconsequential and tangential.

Chief: No, it�s not. It�s built on heart and soul and feeling and emotion. It�s built on blood, sweat, and tears and toil and triumph.

Flunky 2: Uh, chief. I don�t remember a lot of blood and sweat in the Lazytown essay.

Chief: But there was in the one about Smed and his sweating.

Flunky 1: Yeah, but that was also silly.

Chief: And revealing.

Flunky 1: But you didn�t like the ear thing.

Chief: There�s a difference, really.

Flunky 2: Oh, I don�t know.

Chief: Listen�what we need is more stories of the kids. More stories of the family, and of the inanity.

Flunky 1: We�re working on some dinnertime stuff. It takes time.

Chief: Well, cook something up then.

Flunky 2: Yeah, but there�s the deal with Liz�s mom. That could happen any time now and you don�t want to have something silly on the page when that happens, do you?

Chief: We�ll deal with that when the time comes.

Flunky 1: We could ask her to write something else.

Chief: Maybe. Maybe her reaction to the Zolofted Smed?

Flunky 2: Yeah, that may work.

Chief: Mark it down. It�s going on the whiteboard.

Flunky 1: What about music?

Chief: Well, I do know Smed is hard at work at a big mix, and then a couple of others will follow. I�ll have to check the progress. But what are the trends with his music posts?

Flunky 2: It depends.

Chief: I don�t want that answer. I want data � go gather it and give me a report in the morning.

Flunky 2: Yes sir. But sir, I really think the quality hasn�t diminished.

Chief: Any ideas why comments are down and views are steady?

Flunky 2: Yeah, it�s summertime. People are on vacation and out doing things!

Chief: Yes, but we need to give them a reason to bring their laptops on vacation and plug into the Wi-Fi.

Flunky 1: Some people don�t like doing that sir. They like to be unplugged.

Chief: Ah, well then. Any other ideas on how to grow readership?

Flunky 2: Well, you could go back to Blogmad.

Chief: That�s faux, really. No one really reads that much, they just click through to get more views. Besides, I want readers who STAY! I want content to make them STAY! We need better content!

Flunky 1: Well, we can always tell Smed to do some wackier, inane things.

Chief: That may work, but those things can�t be staged. They need to be organic.

Flunky 2: So tripping down the back stairs again with a full glass of wine is out.

Chief: That horse is out of the barn already. How about something on him and the cats?

Flunky 1: OK.

Chief: Put that one on the whiteboard.

Flunky 2: Roger wilco.

Chief: Let�s get cracking. Tell the lab and the test marketers to up production. Hire more temps if you need to. I don�t want to just throw bodies at this, but we need better production, better development and better stories. Dismissed!

 

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