10:52 a.m. - June 29, 2006
Itís going to be a long weekend. Yep.
I can feel it.
But it should be fun.
The fun starts on Saturday, when my best friend, Moose, and his wife arrive in town for the Formula One race. We actually have overnight babysitters arranged for Saturday so we can spend time as actual adults, and go to the race as a foursome as well. Then after the race, weíll collect the kidlets and I will grill out with my (in) famous barbeque chicken marinade recipe. Itís yumcious!
Monday, I believe Moose and I will attempt to play golf. That is, weíll attempt to not hit the white ball 150 times without breaking things or each other.
They fly back on July 4, probably sick to death of our kids!
So the Corner will be kind of quiet this weekend. Weíre going to have all kinds of fun trying to clean the house this weekend for our guests and then entertain our guests, and then actually watch the race and I may even have to write a story about the race, and all.
And yeah, weíll probably clean off the wall oíart.
I seem to be doing OK on the Zoloft right now. I am moving forward, trying to get all of my demons under control, and try to do the best I can to make sure weíre all happy and good to and good for each other here.
And sometimes I will need to be selfish, when Iím trying to get better. Yeah, I am trying to be nice to everyone and I have feelings for everyone, but I need to focus on me, me, me so we can have an us, us, us.
I appreciate the comments and all, but I really donít deserve them, because at times Iíve felt lower than whale slime and deservedly so. Itís insidious, this addiction.
So, Iím not ignoring you because I donít like you. If I ignore you, Iím just focusing on something else.
I did make an appointment with a therapist, and this is my little rant about that.
Several people mentioned I should try to get a sliding scale. I realize my insurance coverage is less than stellar when it comes to mental health, so I decided to try to not use my insurance. Of course, I said, ďWell, I do have insurance, but Iíd rather not use it.Ē
Unfortunately, that wonít fly.
They HAVE to go through the insurance, which means they bill the insurance company then they turn around and tell me I have to use my deductible, so then I have to pay the therapist anyway.
And I donít get the sliding scale benefit.
Now, of course, it could be that Iím a total nutball and need several thousand sessions, so I would fill the deductible up and get my insurance to cover some of the sessions.
But I donít think Iím that far gone, yet.
Yet because I have insurance, I donít get the benefit of a sliding scale, even though I probably will have to pay all of the charges myself (but I can work out a payment plan with the business office, of course).
Of course, they would have guessed I would have had insurance anyway, since where I work is well known to have this insurance coverage in this town, so Iím hosed anyway.
But not as hosed as I would be if I didnít try to get better.
And thatís the Godís honest truth.