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10:55 a.m. - May 25, 2006
Letters To The Editor!
I get letters. Well, in mind I get letters. My email box is barren this morning, sigh.

Anyway, it’s time for letters to the editor. Let’s see what’s in the Smed’s Corner editor’s mailbag, shall we?


Dear Editor,

What’s with all of the typos and what not? Every day, or at least every other day, I surf over to your site and find one or two words that have big time typos. Do you even know how to use spell check?

And sometimes, you are using the wrong homonym or homophone. Come on! Get with the program! I know you are an educated sort. I want quality writing from you, not the mindless internet drivel I get everywhere else. Geez.


The Grammar Hammer
Torrance, CA

Dear Grammar Hammer,

I’m sorry that you think our quality control efforts are slipping. We DO use spell check, and we do check to see that the proper word is in the proper place. But as you know spell check is limited in scope.

We are doing the best we can, but of course no one is perfect. Not even Smed. Thank you for bringing it up. Your the best and I wish you luck in you’re efforts.


Dear Editor,

I am a concerned citizen, and I must tell you that I feel that we are under siege!

There is a massive movement of people who have come into this great country of ours recently, and now they are asserting their rights like they belong here.

They speak in their own secret language and code, they don’t dress like the normal citizens, and they listen to their own music. They don’t want to assimilate into us, they want to be different. They want to have the fruits of this country without laboring for it.

I have a fear that in 20 to 30 years, these people will be running our country and there will be no spot for Americans like you and me.

I mean, just the other day, I saw a group of these folks in the mall, wearing shirts that said “Abercrombie & Fitch” and furiously typing into their phones. I glanced over and the code was “OMG! LOL! U R 2 KEWL! 4 EVAH!”

Wake up America! Send these people back to where they came from, so we can reclaim America for real Americans, and we can put Lawrence Welk back on the TV.

Concerned Citizen,
Syracuse, NY

Dear Concerned Citizen,

I do understand your concern about these folks, yet I feel there is nothing we can do at this time to stop this influx without resorting to drastic and perhaps unconstitutional methods. But if you do see one of these folks breaking the law, let the authorities know. Thanks for reading.


Dear Editor,

Do you work? I mean, do you work at all? Geez, you write all the time and fool around on the internet, but do you get any work done? Who is paying your salary anyway?

Non Slacker,
Halethorpe, MD

Dear Non Slacker,

Hey, I’m not even supposed to BE here today. This is a vacation day, but I’m in the office taking care of some things. I am in constant contact with work all the time. Come on, I do a lot here.

Again, I’m not even supposed to BE here. Geez.


Dear Editor,

I noticed a factual error on one of your essays, and I thought you would like to know about it.

In your essay on Lazytown, you alluded to the game show host extraordinaire as “Chuck Woollery”.

It’s Woolery, not Woollery.

Just thought you’d like to know.

Lingo Fan,
Oklahoma City, OK

Dear Lingo Fan,

Thanks. I’ll correct that error in future issues. Thank you for reading!


Dear Editor,

I’d like to make an essay suggestion to you. You have a lot of single readers, and you have a lot of single readers with cats. I know you have cats as well.

Just because we’re single and have cats does not mean we’re going to be crazy cat ladies in the future. I know that you, in your own style, can put and end to that myth once and for all.

National studies show that only 1.9% of single women with cats move to crazy cat lady status, and only 7.5% of single women over the age of 35 that own cats exhibit any crazy cat lady tendencies.

Plus, it’s not just cat owners. I hear that single women with dogs and even birds have moved to crazy pet owner status. Please do something to erase this negative stereotype about cat owners!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to fill my SUV with catnip and kitty litter and these cute little toys I found in the checkout lane at PetSmart. Awwwww….

Cat Lovin’ Cutie,
Columbus, OH

Dear Cutie,

If I was back in the dating game, I would prefer to date a cat person over a dog person. But that’s just me.

Thanks for the suggestion. I will take it back to the boys in the shop to see if they can do something with it!

As always, thanks for reading!

Dear Editor,

I am a 30-year old single person who is looking for the man of my dreams. I have many things to offer a man such as you. I read your profile and instantly felt that we could make a connection.

I love to cook and can make your life very comfortable. I enjoy music and the fine things of life, and love to sit and be romantic with the right person.

Unfortunately, my circumstances find me trapped here in West Africa. I need to have help to escape my situation here and come over there where we can move forward with our relationship. Please contact me via IM or email, because I really want to see if you are the one for me and help me get out of my situation.

Yours truly,

Lagos, Nigeria

Until next time….thanks for reading Smed’s Corner!


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