9:10 a.m. - May 20, 2006
Safety First!
Excuse me? Hello! May I have everyone�s attention?
Thanks.
I�m glad we all gathered together here in this auditorium for our Smed�s Corner safety update. Now, since at times there have been over 100 people visiting Smed�s Corner, it�s time to talk safety and security.
After all, it IS a corner.
So I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to come here and learn about the safety features of Smed�s Corner. I hope you found the continental breakfast, and took advantage of our in-house day care facility here. Next year I�ll make sure to have more granola crunchies for the yogurt, and some fat-free cream cheese for the bagels. That�s on my list, here.
Excuse me, you four young ladies in the back. Yes, I know it�s exciting to see each other, and to have your kids playing together, but this is serious stuff, and I need everyone to pay attention.
Ok, no problem.
Shall we move on? Good.
As you know, we are trying to make sure that Smed�s Corner is the safest place to read on the internet. And not just in terms of content, but in the actual physical safety of our readers. Like I said, it IS a corner.
So, Smed�s Corner is implementing a five color code system for your safety, and with the appropriate actions that will need to be taken when each level is reached.
Be sure you take notes. Yes, I will post the transcript of the meeting on the internet, but it may take a few days. I mean, I have to write about Lazytown, people.
Ok, the five colors are: Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, and Red.
First, green. Green means all systems go, and it is totally safe to be reading Smed�s Corner. There are no worries at all, and you may carry on, responsibly.
When you get a notice that Smed�s Corner is in the blue zone, then that means that conditions could become unsafe. There is some potential for unsafe activity, and we may have picked up some chatter through intelligence agencies that could affect the safety of our readers.
There is no action to be taken when we are in the blue zone here; you just need to be vigilant.
Next, is yellow. When Smed�s corner is in the yellow zone, it means that we have noticed some definite unsafe activities afoot that could affect the safety of our readers.
It could be someone coming into your office unexpectedly, or someone could be reading over your back that you didn�t know about. Our sensors will detect it and throw up the yellow alert.
So when it becomes yellow, what you need to do is minimize the browser. In case you don�t know, that�s the button with the minus sign. It looks like �-�, OK?
What�s so funny? Oh, you TWO should no better.
So that�s the yellow alert.
The next code is orange. Orange means that you need to safely surf away from Smed�s Corner for the time being. The security threat is real and impending.
An example of an orange alert is someone asking, �What are you laughing at?� or �Hey, what are you doing?�
You can do two things in response to an orange alert. Either type in a new web site in the little box that allows you to type in an address, or go to your bookmarks and find another bookmark.
Do this quickly, and no one will suspect that you are on to them, and your safety and security will not be compromised. Also, if you do this, then when the threat is over and we give the all clear, all you need to do is hit the back button of your browser to return to Smed�s Corner. That�s the back arrow on the left, and it looks like this: �<�. OK?
Now for the red alert. The red alert is a serious breach. It means that someone has broken through, and the potential is great to disrupt or harm the Smed�s Corner experience.
You will need to exit Smed�s Corner in a safe and orderly manner.
This is when you hit the �X� on the upper right of the screen. But that is not all.
First, after you hit the �X�, grab your portable music player and secure it. Put it in your purse or pocket, so it cannot fall out and drop onto the floor.
Next, with your dominant hand (right or left, depending) grab your beverage. Make sure it is not too full to carry, but it should be secured.
Then, exit the room, quickly and quietly.
Ok, to review:
Green � All systems go.
Blue � Be vigilant, but continue with normal activities.
Yellow � Minimize the browser.
Orange � Move to another site.
Red � Close the browser, grab your music and beverage, and leave.
Questions?
In the back? Ok, the question is what about Smed�s Corner in an automobile. Is it safe? Well, I wouldn�t recommend reading Smed�s Corner while driving, for sure, and if you are a passenger in the car it may distract the driver. Our lab is working on an automobile safe Smed�s Corner and hopefully we�ll release that in a few months.
The question from the British gent was about if it was safe to drink alcohol and use Smed�s Corner. Of course, we say everything in moderation, please. But there is nothing wrong if your beverage of choice while browsing is alcohol. Some may say this site makes more sense when you are tipsy.
Hah, that�s a joke. Seriously, just be sure you don�t spill the beverage, especially on your portable music player.
Any other questions? No?
Ok, thank you for coming to the safety and security meeting. Have a good day!
