10:38 p.m. - January 13, 2006
Some Weird Stuff
Well, I�ve known for years I�ve been a weirdo.
I�m out of the mainstream. I�m in with the out crowd. I�m the avant to your garde.
Or something like that.
Hell, who am I kidding? I�m not that odd.
Sure, I have a memory of obscure and inane facts. Sure I delight in the sublime AND the ridiculous. Sure, Katie air guitars and sure Kristin and I dance to White Zombie. What seven-month old doesn�t like the pounding riffs of �Black Sunshine�?
Sure, right before Liz and I had a romantic dinner, I was singing �Tom Sawyer� by Rush, out loud, and trying to hit the Geddy Lee notes. Because my mind is not for rent, to any God or Government. Etc. etc. etc.
Sure, I can be iconoclastic, stubborn, prickly, argumentative, nonsensical, belligerent, obtuse, arcane, idiosyncratic, thrifty, brave, clean and irreverent.
But I like me some sports and beer and rock and roll. I wear a tie to work, drink coffee (alas, it�s decaf, but that�s because of my BP, not by choice), play hoops at lunch, and go home to try to have some quality time with the fam. It�s almost white-bread America.
Well, except for the research into 19th century baseball, obscure music trivia, bad MST3K gags, and the ability to remember almost every Monty Python sketch known to man. (Alas, though, Meany tripped me up once. But I knew the sketch once she gave me a hint or three.)
But I guess I could be termed as having some weird qualities.
Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?
I can tell you these five oddities of mine.
1. I love beer. I love wine. But I don�t drink hard liquor, nor do I drink mixed drinks. Yes, it�s true. The last time I did shots was at my bachelor party, in 1994. I had my fill of shots that night, for sure. There�s a whole story of me leaving the sleaziest dive here in BFE land and walking out to the used car lot next door to give the cars a new paint job, then stumbling home and missing the porn-a-palooza in my honor, but that�s beside the point.
My best friend Moose and I used to play a heinous trick on each other. If one of us were meeting the other late at our favorite bar, the person who got their first would have a couple of beers, then when the other person arrived, stone cold sober, the person already there would order shots of Wild Turkey. Now, drinking a shot of Wild Turkey with a couple beers in you is one thing � straight cold sober is another. Sm-o-o-o-o-th. That was when I was much younger, and that game just doesn�t have the appeal anymore.
But I think my whole aversion to hard liquor was lessons learned my freshman year in College. I burned my eyebrows after a bout with a vodka bottle. I was trying to light a smoke on a gas stove.
Smirk all you want. I deserve it for that.
2. I don�t like nuts. And I don�t like peanut butter. Never have. Never will.
This has been a challenge normally in the procurement of candy. I don�t like Snickers bars and some people think that I am from another planet when I say I don�t like them.
For some reason, the taste of the nut added to the texture of the nut totally creeps me out.
And what red blooded American kid didn�t like peanut butter?? Me, that�s who.
Katie could live on peanut butter sandwiches. More power to her. She could have mine.
3. I love college basketball. I think it�s a requirement here in Indiana, but I love it with all my passion. I�m such a zealot that I have my own power rating system for all of the D-1 AND all of the D-3 teams in this fine country of ours (and I�ll be cranking those out soon).
I also write these elaborate NCAA tournament pick essays (way before this site existed, and believe me they will be posted here for your office pool needs) that bring on the snark along with the analysis.
That�s not SOOO weird, well except for wanting to know exactly how good Yeshiva is compared to Loras, but what�s weird is my TV viewing habits.
I will try to watch any college basketball game on DirecTV, but given a choice between the big name games, and games between, say Quinnipiac and Brown, I�ll choose the latter.
The little guys need some lovin�. Just tonight, I was watching Siena against Marist.
Someone has to.
4. I once got into a huge argument with someone at a friends house about politics, and it almost resulted in blows.
Sure, that�s not unusual on its face, because my politics, for BFE Indiana, aren�t in the mainstream (i.e. I don�t vote a straight party ticket and lean a bit left, which means I�m a Godless Pinko around here) but the subject matter was.
It was politics of the 1840s, specifically a debate on the Whig Party.
Now time and beers have caused the actual text of the argument to be lost in the sands of the hourglass, however, I did slam a friend�s cordless phone to the ground and almost take a screen door off its hinges in the �discussion� of the Whig Party.
Hey, at least it wasn�t a debate on the Know Nothing Party.
5. When I�m putting dirty dishes in the sink, I never put them in the side of the sink that holds the garbage disposal. I always put them in the other side.
In fact, I will fill up the other side of the sink to the absolute brim, before even thinking of putting a dirty dish on the side with the garbage disposal.
Because you never know when you gotta run that sucker. There could be an emergency disposal incident and you must have access at that exact moment.
So there are five odd things about me. Now, if you desire, you may do the same. Go ahead, I dare you.
Is that good enough, Violet? Now can you tell Neal Peart to stop the drum solo in my bedroom? I�ve got to sing Liz to sleep, after the lovin��.
