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11:42 a.m. - January 03, 2006
A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney
Since a lot of my readers (all four of you, howdy!) have been on holidays, vacations, siestas, etc. I�ve decided to have someone recap the last couple of weeks here at Smed�s Corner. And who better to do that than Mr. Andy Rooney. So, ladies and gents, here he is. Take it away, Mr. Rooney.
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Well, I�ve looked at the last few weeks of Smed�s Corner and there are a lot of things I don�t quite understand. I don�t know if I will ever understand this online essay thing anyway. Why not use paper and pen and keep it in a book like I used to? I mean, do you want people reading what you had for breakfast in the morning? No one cares if I had toast with orange marmalade and some Postum. Well, my wife cares. Anyway, let�s get on with it.

I started with December 23, as that�s when it looked like the number of visitors dwindled a bit. Smed here finished up his series on his 150 albums that he likes the most. Those essays are here, here, here, here, and here.

I haven�t heard of hardly any of these albums. I don�t get what the younger generations are listening to. It seems like a lot of noise and screaming to me. He didn�t list anything by Tommy Dorsey. Now I liked Tommy Dorsey, Artie Shaw too. Glenn Miller was a favorite of mine, and Mitch Miller as well. I liked to sing along. I don�t think you could really sing along that much to the albums on Smed�s lists, maybe except for the Beatles. But I stopped liking the Beatles when they grew moustaches and became hippies.

I didn�t like hippies much in the day, but now they kind of amuse me.

On Christmas Eve, Smed posted this which was the photo used for the Christmas card the family sent out. Now that was a sweet picture, and a lot of people commented on it, so I don�t really need to.

The day after Christmas, he posted this about a Christmas hangover. I can understand where he�s coming from, really. There was a lot of hubbub in the Rooney household during Christmas� past, with the kids all opening toys. I always got a lot of neckties and shirts.

Why is it that you always get neckties during Christmas, but you can�t seem to get rid of them? They really don�t wear out, so you keep accumulating them in your closet. So now I have about 150 neckties and only about 30 shirts. Some of my ties are really old, too, like the one I got from Mike Wallace back in the 70�s. You can tell it was from the 70�s because it was wide and the colors are all goofy and fluorescent. I like my ties plain and simple, and Wallace knew that, so I don�t understand why he gave me that one. The best gift I ever received was when Morley Safer gave me a brand new electric typewriter to replace the old manual one I had. I didn�t think I�d like that newfangled typewriter but I grew to love it and wrote some of my best pieces on it. So thanks again, Morley.

On the 28th, he posted this about the junk mail he received that seemed out of the ordinary. Now, I�ve lived a long time, and I�ve gotten a lot of interesting junk mail. Some of the mail I�ve received over the years seemed like they came from out of the blue. Anyway, the longer you live, the more mail you receive. But no one sends me letters anymore, except in Christmas cards.

Back when I was younger, I used to mail out five or six letters a week to friends, and then some to some readers and fans as well, and I used to receive a lot more personal mail that I treasured. I also liked looking at the interesting stamps I received. But thanks to computers no one writes letters anymore and I hardly see any unique stamps. I wonder what kind of stamps the post office will bring out now that no one writes letters.

In this one he talked about procrastination, his job and how many people worked over the holidays. In television, a lot of shows are on hiatus or in reruns, like 60 Minutes. But there are a lot of people who are working during the holidays. The news department is always staffed, and the people who actually put the shows on the air are working as well.

You never think of that, do you, that someone actually has to be here and make sure that the right shows are going out on the air, and they don�t mistakenly show a 1978 episode of �Flo� instead of that Charlie Sheen sitcom. It�s an important job, I guess, to twirl the knobs and dials to get programs on the air.

Oh, they probably don�t have knobs and dials on their consoles anymore, just a lot of buttons and space age things that make it look like a set from a sci-fi movie.

Yesterday, he talked about resolutions and how he doesn�t make them, but understands why people do. Now, I think resolutions are kind of silly. Why don�t you resolve something in June instead of January? I always find I get a lot more done during the summer � it�s warmer. I don�t like to do things in the cold weather. I think the weather affects my energy level.

Well, that�s the recap from me, Andy Rooney, on Smed�s Corner. All in all, it was a fairly interesting read, except for the music stuff which went right over my head. I don�t even think my grandchildren have heard of half of that stuff. Anyway, maybe one day I�ll post some of my writings on line, and some of my pieces on the show online as well. I�m working on one about jams, jellies, marmalades and preserves. I always get them mixed up, and I can�t remember what makes it jam instead of a preserve. But they taste good on toast and biscuits, too. I think I�ll have some for a snack.

I�m Andy Rooney.
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Thanks, Andy.

Hey, gang, it could have been worse. I could have asked Larry King!

 

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