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11:42 a.m. - January 03, 2006
A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney
Since a lot of my readers (all four of you, howdy!) have been on holidays, vacations, siestas, etc. Iíve decided to have someone recap the last couple of weeks here at Smedís Corner. And who better to do that than Mr. Andy Rooney. So, ladies and gents, here he is. Take it away, Mr. Rooney.

Well, Iíve looked at the last few weeks of Smedís Corner and there are a lot of things I donít quite understand. I donít know if I will ever understand this online essay thing anyway. Why not use paper and pen and keep it in a book like I used to? I mean, do you want people reading what you had for breakfast in the morning? No one cares if I had toast with orange marmalade and some Postum. Well, my wife cares. Anyway, letís get on with it.

I started with December 23, as thatís when it looked like the number of visitors dwindled a bit. Smed here finished up his series on his 150 albums that he likes the most. Those essays are here, here, here, here, and here.

I havenít heard of hardly any of these albums. I donít get what the younger generations are listening to. It seems like a lot of noise and screaming to me. He didnít list anything by Tommy Dorsey. Now I liked Tommy Dorsey, Artie Shaw too. Glenn Miller was a favorite of mine, and Mitch Miller as well. I liked to sing along. I donít think you could really sing along that much to the albums on Smedís lists, maybe except for the Beatles. But I stopped liking the Beatles when they grew moustaches and became hippies.

I didnít like hippies much in the day, but now they kind of amuse me.

On Christmas Eve, Smed posted this which was the photo used for the Christmas card the family sent out. Now that was a sweet picture, and a lot of people commented on it, so I donít really need to.

The day after Christmas, he posted this about a Christmas hangover. I can understand where heís coming from, really. There was a lot of hubbub in the Rooney household during Christmasí past, with the kids all opening toys. I always got a lot of neckties and shirts.

Why is it that you always get neckties during Christmas, but you canít seem to get rid of them? They really donít wear out, so you keep accumulating them in your closet. So now I have about 150 neckties and only about 30 shirts. Some of my ties are really old, too, like the one I got from Mike Wallace back in the 70ís. You can tell it was from the 70ís because it was wide and the colors are all goofy and fluorescent. I like my ties plain and simple, and Wallace knew that, so I donít understand why he gave me that one. The best gift I ever received was when Morley Safer gave me a brand new electric typewriter to replace the old manual one I had. I didnít think Iíd like that newfangled typewriter but I grew to love it and wrote some of my best pieces on it. So thanks again, Morley.

On the 28th, he posted this about the junk mail he received that seemed out of the ordinary. Now, Iíve lived a long time, and Iíve gotten a lot of interesting junk mail. Some of the mail Iíve received over the years seemed like they came from out of the blue. Anyway, the longer you live, the more mail you receive. But no one sends me letters anymore, except in Christmas cards.

Back when I was younger, I used to mail out five or six letters a week to friends, and then some to some readers and fans as well, and I used to receive a lot more personal mail that I treasured. I also liked looking at the interesting stamps I received. But thanks to computers no one writes letters anymore and I hardly see any unique stamps. I wonder what kind of stamps the post office will bring out now that no one writes letters.

In this one he talked about procrastination, his job and how many people worked over the holidays. In television, a lot of shows are on hiatus or in reruns, like 60 Minutes. But there are a lot of people who are working during the holidays. The news department is always staffed, and the people who actually put the shows on the air are working as well.

You never think of that, do you, that someone actually has to be here and make sure that the right shows are going out on the air, and they donít mistakenly show a 1978 episode of ďFloĒ instead of that Charlie Sheen sitcom. Itís an important job, I guess, to twirl the knobs and dials to get programs on the air.

Oh, they probably donít have knobs and dials on their consoles anymore, just a lot of buttons and space age things that make it look like a set from a sci-fi movie.

Yesterday, he talked about resolutions and how he doesnít make them, but understands why people do. Now, I think resolutions are kind of silly. Why donít you resolve something in June instead of January? I always find I get a lot more done during the summer Ė itís warmer. I donít like to do things in the cold weather. I think the weather affects my energy level.

Well, thatís the recap from me, Andy Rooney, on Smedís Corner. All in all, it was a fairly interesting read, except for the music stuff which went right over my head. I donít even think my grandchildren have heard of half of that stuff. Anyway, maybe one day Iíll post some of my writings on line, and some of my pieces on the show online as well. Iím working on one about jams, jellies, marmalades and preserves. I always get them mixed up, and I canít remember what makes it jam instead of a preserve. But they taste good on toast and biscuits, too. I think Iíll have some for a snack.

Iím Andy Rooney.

Thanks, Andy.

Hey, gang, it could have been worse. I could have asked Larry King!


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