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11:27 a.m. - December 01, 2005
Weather, or Not?
Well, itís snowing here in BFE Indiana.

It does look pretty, but it again cements the fact that Indiana weather has a mental disease or defect.

I do believe it would be bi-polar, possibly schizophrenic, but at any rate Dr. Skoda on Law & Order would probably recommend a plea deal of some sort.

In the past week, the temps have ranged from 11 degrees on the 24th to 63 degrees on the 28th.

Monday was almost an idyllic fall day Ė mild temps and sunny.

Tuesday it was in the 40ís but the wind was so biting it felt like it was 20 degrees.

Yesterday it was cloudy, cold, and rainy. It was a day that would drive you to take a few nips off a bottle of Wild Turkey and watch trials on Court TV for no damn good reason.

Earlier in the month we had thunderstorms that rivaled the spring thunderstorms. In fact, there were some pretty nasty tornadoes down south.

This fall, some days in October felt like July days with the heat and humidity. Thatís quite unusual.

Weather around here is always mercurial, especially in the spring and fall. You really donít know what youíre getting from day to day. In the spring, there could be snowfall in April, and 80 degree days in March.

In the fall, usually (I say usually) you could have days in the 60s in mid-November and in the 70s in October.

Summertime here is usually 80s with some humidity, and thereís usually a stretch of the dreaded 90 / 90 for a day or two. (Actually, I donít think the humidity is that high but it sure seems like it). Those are days where you could coat yourself with Right Guard and it would do no good Ė youíd be sweating right through your shirt in no time.

And that always impresses the ladies. (Hi, dollface. Please ignore the fact that Iím pitting out in a massive way. Thanks!)

But there usually arenít big thunderstorms in the fall Ė they happen in the spring and the summer. So hearing the big olí thunderboomers in November was a bit disconcerting.

Did I see a horseman in one of those clouds?

And while it does snow in December, for sure, Iíd rather the temperature be a gradual decline. None of this 11 to 63 to snow in a week for me, thanks.
Now, I donít mind a lot of weather. Well, I can tolerate a lot of weather.

Fall is my favorite time of year, and spring is close by. I like the fact that here itís between 50 and 75 degrees with low humidity and just a nice feeling in the air. Of course, thatís the ideal state in those seasons, but there are enough of those days that I donít mind them much.

Of course, as I noted above, itís basically a crapshoot from day to day.

I donít like being hot, at all. So why am I in Indiana in the summer, in a house that is almost impossible to cool without divine intervention?

Summer (and late spring) brings the thunderstorms here. When those systems pass through, itís like the weather forgot itís lithium for the day. The day would start out climbing to about 85 degrees and then end at 65 degrees within an hour after one of those systems passes through.

I donít really like being cold, either. Well, cold and wet. Thatís why Iím not a huge fan of playing in the snow. Katie, of course, loves it, so I must be a trouper. I think the issue was that when I was a kid, some snow always melted inside the sleeves of my coat and the cold, cold water on my skin really freaked me out.

I donít mind the cold in general if I can bundle up enough. Fortunately, most of the time cold in Indiana means above 15 or 20 degrees. And I really donít mind going out and blowing the snow off of my driveway and sidewalk, ever since I got a fancy new snowblower.

(I had to get a snowblower. The first time it snowed after we moved, it took me almost 2 hours to shovel the sidewalk around the house. Theyíll fine you if you donít shovel the sidewalk, and I like being a good neighbor. Well, that, and keeping my money so I can spend it on iTunes downloads and beer.)

But months like December really bug me. Itís snowing now, and itís starting accumulate a bit on the lawns (but not on the streets). That tells me itíll be melted soon and no doubt it will be 60 degrees in three days and sunny.

Here in Indiana, we never put away our shorts. You never know when youíll need them.


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