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11:24 a.m. - October 22, 2005
An Important Annoucement From SmedCo

We here at SmedCo (the parent company of Smed’s Corner) take great pride in bringing you Smed’s Corner on a regular basis. Our readership keeps expanding, and we really like to hear from you, the reader. Those comments are really beneficial in shaping the direction of future products here at SmedCo. And we owe you our humble gratitude.

Some of you may ask what process we go through here at SmedCo to ensure that the highest quality product appears on this site. Let me tell you, it is a thorough process. Each paragraph is carefully scrutinized with care; each word is chosen with the utmost quality in mind. We utilize a great support staff of fact checkers, market researchers, and quality control experts in an effort to bring you the product that you know and love.

As with any enterprise, there are some things that just don’t work out. Some ideas never see the light of day due to our extensive process analyses. One may wonder, though, why some products reach the marketplace when they obviously have a limited appeal. The answer is simple – we here at SmedCo will never rest on our laurels. Sometimes you must be innovative and not be afraid to fail. You cannot succeed if you do not try.

I wanted to illustrate this by showing off some products that failed to make the final cut to be placed on Smed’s Corner. Some of these ideas may resurface; just because something didn’t quite work the first time doesn’t mean it was a bad idea. There are myriad reasons why these products did not appear.

First off – a great concept was launched in an effort to write some of the favorite sites in SmedCo as television sitcoms. The premise was this – Smed’s Corner would list some of his favorite diaries, write wacky plot points and premises, and then cast appropriate cheesy actors and actresses in their roles.

The problem surfaced in casting. Would Geekgirl really want to be played by Vicki Lawrence (circa 1978 or so)? How would she feel about Rainn Wilson and Lyle Waggoner as her co-stars?

What about Andria. If we cast Donna Pescow or Julie Kavner in her role, will she be offended?

What of the plot synopses? What about who wasn’t’ chosen. Would Awittykitty be offended because we couldn’t come up with the proper synopses that would make people laugh and think at the same time, while it would be easy for, say, Moo or Lap?

Sadly, that brilliant idea had to be put on the backburner for re-tooling.

Another product that was well on its way to development was a premise about songs that Smed could never burn on a mix CD for Liz, with explanations on why these songs would result in Smed having issues at home.

What put the kibosh on that was the fact the songs and artists that he chose are rather obscure, esoteric, or out dated. The tentative starter list was:

• “My Wife and My Dead Wife” – Robyn Hitchcock
• “W-I-F-E” – Old 97’s
• “Country Death Song” – Violent Femmes
• “Bad Times” – Lubricated Goat
• “Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage” – Killer Pussy
• Anything by Dinosaur, Jr. or the Laughing Hyenas

There, the idea stalled in production. Quality control also said that they couldn’t ensure the humor would be necessarily strong, and a focus group found the idea trite. This idea may be mothballed permanently, or it may come back later in another form.

Sometimes an idea is posted and withdrawn. Such was the case of the West Wing parody that was up for about 6 hours in early June. It was a quite humorous essay, involving a good friend and her run for president in 2008, written as it was Josh and Santos talking about the campaign. However, due to circumstances beyond our control here at SmedCo, we had to pull the piece.

Some ideas were all set for release and then withdrawn at the last minute. Such is the case with Smed’s World Series preview. It was determined that there wasn’t enough good material when we were almost ready for production, but it was felt that the material wasn’t strong enough for good general humor. Perhaps we can do this next year, especially if the Cubs make the Series.

One idea that was bandied about consisted of these titles:

• Nasty Dogs and Funky Kings
• Francene
• Heard It on the X
• Arrested for Driving While Blind
• Going Down to Mexico
• Just Got Paid
• Enjoy and Get It On

It was an idea to actually title a string of essays using song titles from old, classic ZZ Top songs. A brilliant idea, that sadly did not pass muster mainly because the majority our test market failed to notice the joke.

Then there’s the case of the obscure note. In the main lab at SmedCo, there was a notepad with the words “Mother Freedom” and “Nashville West” on them. While those are song titles, the reason for their appearance on that notepad has been lost to history.

We have been asked about the quantity and quality of the product. It’s a balance, for sure. Some ideas percolate a long time and some ideas are instantly conceived and produced, but all products go through the same rigorous quality schedule. We have been on a roll of late, so that’s why new products are released almost daily. If there may be a day or two that goes by without a new product, do not worry. It just means that we are being extra careful in ensuring that our quality is not compromised.

So, as you see, we here at SmedCo are working hard daily to provide you with the product that you want and desire. We appreciate your support, and hope you invite your friends to enjoy our product as well. This week, we hope to release “Happiness”, “Household Chores” and other fine products for you all. Thank you again from all of us at SmedCo

My best wishes to you all.

Founder, President, CEO, and Chairman


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