12:20 a.m. - September 20, 2005
Dear Smed - Advice for the Lovelorn
For some reason, I feel compelled to read the advice columns in newspapers. At times, I think that�s an easy gig. People write in with all of their problems and worries, and you dispense some advice that may or may not work. At any rate, you send a message that you do care about their problem, even if the advice you gave was totally wrong for their situation.
Hey, I could do that. I can care. So why not let�s see how I would do as an advice columnist?
Dear Smed,
At times I feel like the world is a vampire draining me of my soul. I feel a lot of betrayal and pain, and at times I feel like a naked, feral animal. On the outside I am cool and cold, but I have a lot of rage inside. A lot of rage, and I feel like a caged rodent, like a rat in a cage. Tell me, Smed, how can I break out of this and feel good about the world?
Billy C. � Chicago
Dear Billy �
Don�t take things so personally. Dude, you�ve got to lighten up. Your friends are just kidding you. Disarm them with a smile, and they�ll probably stop picking on you, OK? Otherwise, you�ll always be a zero to them.
Dear Smed,
I have a problem. My ex-girlfriend is now with my best friend, and I�m still in love with her. She still makes me flip. She�s also quite a flirt because she�s always make contact with her blue eyes while she�s dancing down the street at night, underneath the starry skies. At times, I have to bite my lip, because I still have a reaction of love. What should I do about this?
Ric O. � Boston
Dear Ric �
It�s tricky when you�re ex-girlfriend is dating a good friend of yours. You seem to have accepted that relationship without much trouble, so what you need to do is accept them for who they are, move on, and just let the good times roll. I�m sure down the road you�ll find just what you needed.
Dear Smed,
I�ve been living with this woman for quite a while, but I�m tired of her. I think we�ve been together too long and the relationship is just worn out. I was reading the personal ads the other day and one caught my eye. This letter basically spelled out everything that I like to do, but haven�t done with my old lady. Stuff like getting caught in the rain, getting amorous late at night in the dunes of the cape, and drinking pina coladas. Now I have half a brain and I know the relationship I�m in is going south. I�m tempted to respond to this ad and have her meet me at O�Malley�s. I really feel I need to escape. Should I respond?
Rupert H. - LA
Dear Rupert,
Have you sat down and talked to your �old lady� recently? What if she likes some of those same things? It would be pretty awkward to throw away a relationship just because you haven�t sat down and honestly discussed what you really like and dislike. Do you know if she likes yoga or health food? You need a reality check before you go on this escape. Otherwise, this may just be a one-hit wonder fling, and you�ll be out a potentially groovy long term relationship, dig?
Dear Smed,
There�s this girl who I really like, and I think she likes me, but she�s always got this hurt look on her face. It looks like she�s been hurt quite a bit, and she�s afraid that if she gives in someone will sock it to her again. I know I can make her happy and satisfy her. She�s like my dream come true. How can I convince her that not every boy is going to hurt her, before she gives up on love?
Donny O. � Salt Lake
Dear Donny,
She may think that the whole darn batch of men are spoiled. You�re just going to have to give her time. Take it slow and easy. You know what may work? Invite her for a walk and give her a nice fresh apple to eat down by the lazy river. Couldn�t hurt.
Dear Smed,
My parents are driving me up a wall. I overslept and my parents still made me go to school, even though I missed two periods. Sure, I was caught smoking, but my Dad smokes like a chimney. And I was just grounded because Mom found a Hustler in my bedroom. They rag on me for my clothes, and my hair, and the music I play. Dang, I just want to be a normal teen and have let loose and have fun. It�s not fair! I have to fight for the right to have just a few friends over after school. What can I do?
Mike D. � Brooklyn
Dear Mike,
Man, you�re lucky you have parents that care! While sure, every teenager does like to party and have fun, with all of the stuff that you�ve done, you�ve got to earn the trust of your parents again before you can have any functions at your house again. Partying is NOT a right, it�s a privilege.
Dear Smed,
I just hit the wall. I�m in my late 30�s and I�ve been married since I was 24. I have two kids and a husband, who makes a nice living as a CPA. In fact, he�s the only man I�ve ever been with. I�ve been on some anti-depressants for a while, but I think I�m losing it. I go back to when I was graduating high school. I had these dreams of stardom. I was going to be a star, or at least in music videos. Now I find when I�m driving my SUV around, I only listen to music from that era, and anytime there�s a movie with Emilio Estevez or Molly Ringwald in it, I have to watch it. I can�t deal with stuff in this generation, like American Idol, because it�s not the same as it was when I was a kid. My kids are getting sick of Springsteen, Madonna, and Blondie. They say I�m stuck in the 80�s and I embarrass them with my uncool ways. What can I do?
Debbie � Dallas, TX
Dear Debbie �
I hate to tell your kids, but 80�s nostalgia is going to get hip again very soon, as soon as VH-1 makes another �I Love the 80�s� series. Don�t worry about what your kids think, enjoy what you like. As for your dreams of stardom, many people nearing 40 often look back with regret at the life not lived, however, what you need now is to reach out and grab all the gusto you can.
Dear Smed �
I had to go away, and I miss my girl � it�s been a long time that we�ve been apart. I can�t describe my love for her, because I don�t want to restrain myself. I often dream that she�ll walk through that door, and she will take all my sorrow away. There is no one like her, and I just want to be loved by her. How can I cope with this? I imagine the things we do, and that makes it worse.
Klaus � Germany
Dear Klaus �
It�s hard to be apart from a loved one. However, in this day and age, if you can, call her on her cell phone, text message her or email her. If you can get one of those camera cell phones, then you can send photos back and forth to each other. There are plenty of ways to keep in contact, and when you do get together, I�m sure it will feel like a hurricane of emotions rocking you both. Good luck!
Well, how did I do? Do you think I helped these poor souls?
