1:01 p.m. - July 21, 2005
I Am Who I Am, I Think...
�Be who you are�.
I�ve been trying to follow that advice that was given to me on Tuesday.
I have been a bit of a stress-ball, which led to some drama, which I hope was resolved here in Cedar Rapids, FINALLY! There have been and are a lot of things piling on in my life and I was dragging people into my morass by trying to hard, stressing and flaking out, and other things.
I felt I wasn�t myself.
I was worried about how I�d do presenting at this conference, but I got some great feedback and I hope my reviews are good. I was shocked and honored to be asked to present, and I was worried that I wasn�t going to measure up. I think I did measure up!
I have to write some chapters in a book as well � and haven�t started on those yet. They will be done, Guru-sir, I just needed to get these presentations out of the way.
Coupled that with the general stress of the time of year at work, plus the stress of a 6-week old baby (along with a 3 � year old) it�s plausible that I could be a bit wiggy.
And I have been. And I tried to explain that to someone Tuesday � that she hadn�t seen the real me because I was a stress machine. And she said �Be who you are!�
So, I�ve resolved not to be a wigged-out person anymore. Or at least try not to be. I�m going to let some friendships that I�ve made breathe and grow on their own and not try to force themselves � and settle down my life a little bit.
Yeah, there are some life changes going on!
So last night I had an enjoyable time at a dinner and at a piano bar and was not forcing my persona on anyone. I was trying to be relaxed and myself.
I talked to Liz late last night. Katie woke up and was worried that I would forget how to come home. Not a problem, I assured her. Liz was a little stressed herself but I think she�s over the hump, except that I get to be Dad for 24 hours in a row while she sleeps!
Today I gave the last of my presentations and I thought they went well. Then I proceeded to the faculty firing line, which was pretty good.
Well, except for the part where a dear person used a quote of mine.
At some point, I said, �I should have left when you did.� And she quoted me on that and a roar from the crowd came. Well, at least they�ll remember ME!
That kind of tells you the hours I have been keeping this week!
So I think I was being myself more than I have been.
And of course, while being myself, I locked my keys in the car.
I hope that�s not who I am going to turn out to be in the long run!
