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10:00 p.m. - March 11, 2008
Heard It In A Looooove Song....

Riding on the Metro here in DC (and not sitting by Terri Nunn, sigh), Iíve had a chance to listen to a lot of tunes as I travel back and forth, to hither and yon.

Hither is the yellow line to Chinatown, and yon is the red line to wherever I need to go. Basically, because thatís the way it goes.

So, I got to hear a song that I have known forever and a day. But I never really owned it, so I never took stock of it until recently.

And, well, I was shocked, amazed, stunned, etc.

This tune is a classic rock staple. Anyone growing up in the Midwest or South, or heck, anywhere where classic rock or southern rock was the staple on the radio knows it.

Hereís the chorus. You know it!

Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Can't be wrong

Now, I have seen plenty of women folk (and others) bellowing out that chorus, and some get lovey dovey with their significant others during the bellowing of said chourses.

And on first blush, it seems appropriate, if you just deal with the chorus. Because love songs, ďcainít be wrongĒ! (To say it like the Marshall Tucker Band sings itÖ)

Yet, when examining the lyrics of the verses, well, then thereís a disconnect.

Verse One:

I ain't never been with a woman long enough for my boots to get old
But we've been together so long now they both need resoled
If I ever settle down, you'd be my kind
And that's a good time for me to head on down the line

Um, so thatís love? Wait. What? Youíre like the best chick in the world for me, but dang it, I gots to move on, mainly BECAUSE of that (as I imply this).

Um, how is this in a LOVE song, anyway?


So letís go to Verse Two:

I'm the kind of man who likes to get away
Like to start dreamin' 'bout tomorrow today
Never said that I loved you, even though it's so
Where's that duffel bag of mine, it's time to go

Oh, thatís nice. Just peachy dude. Just avoid confronting your feelings and take the chickenshit way out of it, and just leave. Youíve done your business, and now yer going.

Heck sheís probably done things for you that she never thought of doing before, and youíre just leaving?

You give dudes a bad name.

But then, thereís Verse Three:

I'm gonna be leavin' at the break of dawn
Wish you could come but I don't need no woman taggin' along
Gonna sneak out that door, couldn't stand to see you cry
I'd stay another year if I saw a teardrop in your eye

You sir, are a cad, a phony, a charlatan, a libertine.

Yeesh. Are you even going to call? Text? Email? Smoke signal?

This, my friends, is a weak, spineless man. Confront your fears, dude. Thatís the only way to mental health.

But thereís a Verse Four, for some God-forsaken reason:

I never had a damn thing, but what I had I had to leave it behind
You're the hardest thing I ever tried to get off of my mind
Always something greener on the other side of that hill
I was born a wrangler and a rounder and I guess I always will

Dude, THIS COULD BE THE ONE! But youíre moving on? What will you do? You know, jobs just donít grow on trees. What were you doing? Sponging off of her? Dealing? Hustling? How can you just up and go without a severance? Do you at least have COBRA? Címon dude, answers!

So, the next time some drunken chicas are howling the chorus to this song, kick them in the shins and have them listen to the words.

But make sure you sing along during the chours, because, well, that still kicks ass.

CAINíT BE WRONG!

 

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