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9:54 a.m. - June 01, 2007
Doritos Flavor X-13D
When I made my jaunt to Satan’s Discount Store (sigh…Target…come back. BFE forgives you!) they had some Doritos on display.

Now, I like me some Doritos, and I’m old enough to remember the actual REGULAR flavor Doritos, and the original Taco flavored Doritos. Nacho Cheese Doritos were the third flavor, and soon that flavor surpassed them all.

Now, they have about a bazillion (technical snack food term) flavors, and one that caught my eyes was Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ (good, good) and something in a black bag.

It’s the “X-13D Flavor Experiment”.

Ah, yes, something new to lure in the snack food consumers.

The objective is to taste and name the new Doritos flavor. The bag also says “Receive additional instruction at….” some website and a place to text message.

Mr. Phelps, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to buy this bag of chips, taste them, and name them. This website will self-destruct in ten seconds.

So, what the heck? Let’s eat us some new Doritos.

The tasting notes said: “All American Classic”

So, what does that mean?

Several thoughts came through my mind. Obviously, it had to be something in the food arena, as eating chips that taste like a NASCAR tire wouldn’t be appealing.

So there were a few flavors that came to mind. But a grits flavored chip? Nah. Fried chicken? Maybe. Tofu burger? Only in California, I think.

So why not just end the suspense and eat some already?

Well, first we plowed through the Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ chips. Yum. And you know, to taste a new chip, it has to be the right place and time. You can’t have eaten anything that can screw up your taste buds, and you should only drink water or something beforehand so you won’t be biased.

Last night, though, it was time.

I took a big swig of water and opened the bag, trying to guess the flavor with the aroma. I had a couple of ideas, but the proof was in the taste.

And I took a bite.

My initial guess was either some hamburger type flavor, or a hot dog type flavor.

This was a cheeseburger, for sure.

Cheeseburger flavored chips?

I took another few chips.

Not only was it cheeseburger flavored, but it was heavy on the pickles and the mustard. Which is fine for some people, but I prefer cheeseburgers relatively unadorned, to let the meat flavor come through. My favorite is a BBQ Bacon cheeseburger, but that’s just how I am.

You could really taste the pickles and the mustard though in these chips.

I asked Liz to taste them, but she had just brushed her teeth. But she smelled them and, yes, she verified what I thought.

Now, here’s a question for you:

Many times Doritos are eaten WITH hamburgers, especially at cookouts or pitch ins. Why in the heck would you want to eat cheeseburger flavored chips when you’re eating a cheeseburger?

Makes no sense to me.

So, flavor X-13D, I think you should have stayed in the lab. Because this flavor would not get THIS reaction, I feel:


 

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