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10:02 a.m. - May 04, 2007
I'm Random And Finally Lean To The Left
Grab bag day today. Get one while they’re hot…or cool…

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I guess that every problem in Montgomery County was solved, and that there is no ELECTION coming up, or any important meetings, or anything going on of importance, or any good news coming from this town. Why do I say that?

Well, yesterday’s Journal-Review had as the entire story over the fold dedicated to a family that found the paper’s “Captain Aaaargh!” (or however they spell it) medallion and won $300.

This is a contest they do in April of each year to drive people to their advertisers and classified ads. They hide a medallion somewhere in the county (in a public place) and then put a bunch of clues in the ads and then people have to figure out where it is. The first person to bring it back gets $150.

What happened was that they hid this medallion in the park by the old skateboard area and it was icky and rainy and no one found it for a while and so they doubled the prize instead of hiding another medallion in the last week of the contest.

Anyway, does that warrant a huge headline and picture, just because someone won that dorky contest?

You think I’m kidding? No, I am not!

I’m all for pirates but not as front page news in a headline like someone discovered plutonium by accident.

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I have sad news. The Jenster’s mom passed away. At least it wasn’t long and drawn out. The calling is Tuesday and I’m going to go and make an appearance. I have a meeting that starts the same time but this is more important.

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Can you help Liz out? She has a question.

Ok, the question isn’t “Why did you marry Smed anyway?” The question is this:

She has a standing column for Montgomery Woman magazine, and the new editor wants her to have a title for her column.

She came up with some suggestions:

• Real Families Herd Dust Bunnies
• Relative Humor
• How To Avoid Shiny Floors And Other Health Hazards (This is more of a book title, IMHO)
• Home Grown Humor
• Witless
• Don’t Put Ketchup On The Cat
• You Did WHAT? (Actually, her friend Snow White came up with this one…)

So, which one does the unwashed masses of the internet prefer??

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I’ve learned this about the internet:

• Every site goes down once in a while – when it’s least convenient for you.
• Free ain’t always free.
• Some things change and it’s out of our control.
• That doesn’t mean you can get annoyed and yell and scream about it. In fact, the internet encourages that. I guess it’s better than burning a building down.


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Our admin assistant brought in a box of Cheez-its. Get yer own!

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In January 2001, we dedicated our new athletic facility, and in doing so, we had a celebration of the liberal arts as well. (Throwing some academics into the athletics, you know. Ya gotta do that here since we’re supposedly smart guys.).

We gave three honorary degrees. I was assigned to greet the degree honorees and make sure everything was taken care of before the ceremony. It was a big ol’ hoohah, because after the celebration in the chapel, we had the dedication and a big dinner with an open bar and the whole shebang.

Being January in BFE land, the weather was foul. One of the attendees wanted me to move his car to behind the athletic center so that they could leave the dinner quickly and not walk on the ice and snow. Hey, it’s the least we could do.

Of course, since this gentleman was a pretty important person, it was a very nice car. It was a Lexus with heated seats and sensors and the whole thing. I drove that thing very carefully.

Who was this gentleman?

It was none other than Randall Tobias

Who?

this guy.

Oh!

You know, he hired these women to come to his condo and just ‘give him a massage’. He also said that he used a service with Central American women.

But there was no sex involved. And I’m purple with pink polka dots.

Sean Hannity, of course, thinks that this poor, lonely man just wanted some companionship. A lot of the Fox News spewers are aghast that this information was going to be released. “What if they mis-dialed the number?” Oh, yeah, 49 times?

Of course, that’s only because there are a lot of Republicans that will be in those phone records. I’m sure if there were a lot of Democrats on that list – they’d want their heads on staves.

What I’m most intrigued about is that you KNOW this wasn’t a cheap massage. It was probably double or triple the price of a licensed massage therapist. (I’m guessing, like I know…) So how is that fiscally responsible, unless there was some OTHER thing going on?

Do we want someone in our government that wastes money like that? Oh, wait…

Anyway, can we rescind that honorary degree? Not for wanting to get a little strange, or paying for it, but for being the world’s worst liar?

The irony is that Tobias pushed an abstinence only plan for AIDS prevention.

I guess there are no happy endings in politics.

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Speaking of that (and sorry I’m leaning to the left today), I missed THIS:

You know, if you’re a party that trumpets family values and social conservatism, you’d better do extensive background checks on who you give awards to.

And how are you not “good at being gay.” It’s not like baseball or a vocation. You are what you are.

I wasn’t good at being straight when I was in high school, but I kept at it and look who I wound up with!

Score!

 

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