|
10:23 a.m. - February 15, 2007 Today I�d like to inaugurate another semi-regular feature here on Smed�s Corner, where I deconstruct some lyrics of repute (or ill-repute) from songs of the 60�s, 70�s and 80�s.
SWEETER THAN SUGAR (Levine / Feldman)
Ok, we�re not done with the first verse and I have to call a time out. Now, soup can be hot, but no one eats soup when it�s boiling. What about gazpacho? I remember having a celebration soup at a Wabash event that was served at room temperature and it was divine. Now, I think people tend to drink tea or coffee at a higher temp than they eat soup. Plus, there are things hotter than soup, of course. How about molten Carbon? That�s 3500 degrees Celsius, and I think Liz is hotter than that�ok, maybe she�s hotter than molten Tungsten (3410 degrees C). I don�t want to give her an ego! And baby you're cooler I may be wrong, but snow is very good at insulating things. Yes, it�s cold, but there are things much cooler than snow. Dry ice, anyone? How about liquid nitrogen? You can easily get your hands on that stuff, I�m sure. Just sayin�. That baby you're So, you�re calling her Saccharin, or NutraSweet, basically? You know, I think I�d be a lot better if I�d call Liz my sweetie, instead of comparing her to a packet of Sweet �N� Low or a can of Tab.
Ah, the cotton tail � the paragon of softness. Take THAT Mr. Whipple. Actually, I think the fur of a new kitten is pretty darn soft and cuddly, and well, um, Liz is right up there in softness. Well, except when she�s a badass, and deservedly so. And you're so good lookin' Ah, you know, if I sit there and stare at Liz for a while, she gets creeped out. I think most everyone would, if some wild eyed person kept staring at you because you�re all there. Besides, where the heck ELSE would you be. (Ok, I know some people do that Astral projection thing deal bit�but really�most normal folk�ll are just there, Heidegger be damned.) REPEAT CHORUS Ahhh And you're doin' me fine Now wait just a gosh darn minute. This is a kid�s song (well, it�s bubblegum) and they say �do me outta my mind�. Um, what exactly are they doing? Don�t answer that, I�m still rated PG here. But it�s right up there with some of the lines in �Jingle Jangle� and �Bang Shang A-Lang� by the Archies. And then the last line of the bridge where it jumps from �I love you� to �I love her�? You know, if you said that to your sweetie to her face, you�d get slapped at least. �Who is this �her�?� You best keep your pronouns straight, Mr. Levine. REPEAT CHORUS X2
There are many more songs on tap, thanks to conspiring between Violet and me when I was formulating the idea. She had some wicked good ideas for songs (and yes, I used that phrase as a tribute to her time in Boston) and over the next few weeks we�ll definitely get into some cringe-worthy songs of the past. Until then, hug your sweetie, no matter who or what it is. But lay off the aspartame and liquid nitrogen, OK?
|