10:39 a.m. - January 24, 2007
So we are proposing these reality TV shows, and hopefully they will be coming soon to a small screen (or not so small screen, in the case of Niece Nurse’s new behemoth HDTV) near you.
The Apprentice – Fairbanks - That show has become quite the train wreck, with the spoiled, pampered candidates complaining about sleeping in a tent in Los Angeles, where it’s 70 degrees and all. Well, let’s move the show up to Fairbanks. I’m sure Trump can get some good tasks up there. It would also be cool if the losers still slept outside. Now, that would be really cold, PLUS there’s a chance the annoying contestant could be eaten by a bear. And I think we’d all have paid money to see Omarosa devoured by a Kodiak, wouldn’t we?
Straight Eye For The Queer Guy - Ah, the old switcheroo! Five straight guys go to a gay guy’s place, bring over pizza and wings, watch football, and generally do ‘man stuff’. But there’s a double-twist! It turns out when they got to the gay guy’s place, he was busy breaking down the coaches’ tape of the Colts / Patriots game while drinking Budweiser amidst empty buckets of KFC and wrappers from Hardees. He also won the belching contest. Then his boyfriend arrived after working at the construction job site, so he gives him a backrub while they debate whether the Bears should blitz Payton Manning, or use straight coverage, and if the H-back is really a tight end or a fullback when all is said and done. The straight guys slink home, upset they didn’t get some bruschetta.
Survivor – Ottumwa- Hot time, it’s summer in Iowa, so the chicks can still wear bikinis. (Have you been in the Midwest in August? Lordy, that’s humid!) 18 strangers are stranded in a KOA in the middle of Iowa, where they have to survive the natural conditions that are found in such a setting, such as the bratty kids at the pool, the campers who play their Garth Brooks tapes at 3AM, the microwavable burritos, and the raccoons foraging at night. Don’t miss the corn maze challenge that sets one tribe into a rebellious state against their leader.
So You Want To Be An Old School Punk Rocker? - Rock and roll is glamorous, and punk rock is edgy. Those brats in Good Charlotte and Sum 41 seem to just love being ‘punk rock’, so let’s see if they can survive being an old school punk rocker. They have to travel 10 in a van, with their support band and roadies plus equipment, try to squat in squalid apartments, eat on $1.50 a day, and get totally spit on and beaten up when they open up for a local favorite band in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Busboy - This show follows the day-to-day activities of busboys at the Denny’s in Rapid City, South Dakota. The recurring characters include the sullen loner, the sullen loser, the sullen college student, the sullen aspiring performance artist, the sullen illegal alien, and the sullen retiree.
You Are The Donner Party - A group of 87 strangers get together and try to recreate the trek that the Donner Party made across the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Can they make it through the winter? By what means will they survive? Will they have the supplies for a nice garnish and a white wine sauce?
Celebrity Rock, Paper, Scissors - Each week, celebrities match wits against each other in this classic game of strategy and luck. Hosted by Drew Carey, the first show features Billy Baldwin, Ian Ziering, Dennis Franz, Christy McNichol, Markie Post and Olivia D’Abo.
To Catch A Blogger! - We secretly film bloggers during their day, and then we read their blogs about their day afterwards. Later, they are called by who they think is a long time reader to arrange a meeting, but instead they get ambushed by Monica Novotny, exposing their lies and exaggerations.
These shows are winners! I’m sure you will agree that SmedCo Productions has struck a nerve with this fine new batch of shows for the upcoming seasons.