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9:10 a.m. - May 20, 2006
Safety First!
Excuse me? Hello! May I have everyoneís attention?

Thanks.

Iím glad we all gathered together here in this auditorium for our Smedís Corner safety update. Now, since at times there have been over 100 people visiting Smedís Corner, itís time to talk safety and security.

After all, it IS a corner.

So I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to come here and learn about the safety features of Smedís Corner. I hope you found the continental breakfast, and took advantage of our in-house day care facility here. Next year Iíll make sure to have more granola crunchies for the yogurt, and some fat-free cream cheese for the bagels. Thatís on my list, here.

Excuse me, you four young ladies in the back. Yes, I know itís exciting to see each other, and to have your kids playing together, but this is serious stuff, and I need everyone to pay attention.

Ok, no problem.

Shall we move on? Good.

As you know, we are trying to make sure that Smedís Corner is the safest place to read on the internet. And not just in terms of content, but in the actual physical safety of our readers. Like I said, it IS a corner.

So, Smedís Corner is implementing a five color code system for your safety, and with the appropriate actions that will need to be taken when each level is reached.

Be sure you take notes. Yes, I will post the transcript of the meeting on the internet, but it may take a few days. I mean, I have to write about Lazytown, people.

Ok, the five colors are: Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, and Red.

First, green. Green means all systems go, and it is totally safe to be reading Smedís Corner. There are no worries at all, and you may carry on, responsibly.

When you get a notice that Smedís Corner is in the blue zone, then that means that conditions could become unsafe. There is some potential for unsafe activity, and we may have picked up some chatter through intelligence agencies that could affect the safety of our readers.

There is no action to be taken when we are in the blue zone here; you just need to be vigilant.

Next, is yellow. When Smedís corner is in the yellow zone, it means that we have noticed some definite unsafe activities afoot that could affect the safety of our readers.

It could be someone coming into your office unexpectedly, or someone could be reading over your back that you didnít know about. Our sensors will detect it and throw up the yellow alert.

So when it becomes yellow, what you need to do is minimize the browser. In case you donít know, thatís the button with the minus sign. It looks like ď-ď, OK?

Whatís so funny? Oh, you TWO should no better.

So thatís the yellow alert.

The next code is orange. Orange means that you need to safely surf away from Smedís Corner for the time being. The security threat is real and impending.

An example of an orange alert is someone asking, ďWhat are you laughing at?Ē or ďHey, what are you doing?Ē

You can do two things in response to an orange alert. Either type in a new web site in the little box that allows you to type in an address, or go to your bookmarks and find another bookmark.

Do this quickly, and no one will suspect that you are on to them, and your safety and security will not be compromised. Also, if you do this, then when the threat is over and we give the all clear, all you need to do is hit the back button of your browser to return to Smedís Corner. Thatís the back arrow on the left, and it looks like this: ď<Ē. OK?

Now for the red alert. The red alert is a serious breach. It means that someone has broken through, and the potential is great to disrupt or harm the Smedís Corner experience.

You will need to exit Smedís Corner in a safe and orderly manner.

This is when you hit the ďXĒ on the upper right of the screen. But that is not all.

First, after you hit the ďXĒ, grab your portable music player and secure it. Put it in your purse or pocket, so it cannot fall out and drop onto the floor.

Next, with your dominant hand (right or left, depending) grab your beverage. Make sure it is not too full to carry, but it should be secured.

Then, exit the room, quickly and quietly.

Ok, to review:

Green Ė All systems go.
Blue Ė Be vigilant, but continue with normal activities.
Yellow Ė Minimize the browser.
Orange Ė Move to another site.
Red Ė Close the browser, grab your music and beverage, and leave.

Questions?

In the back? Ok, the question is what about Smedís Corner in an automobile. Is it safe? Well, I wouldnít recommend reading Smedís Corner while driving, for sure, and if you are a passenger in the car it may distract the driver. Our lab is working on an automobile safe Smedís Corner and hopefully weíll release that in a few months.

The question from the British gent was about if it was safe to drink alcohol and use Smedís Corner. Of course, we say everything in moderation, please. But there is nothing wrong if your beverage of choice while browsing is alcohol. Some may say this site makes more sense when you are tipsy.

Hah, thatís a joke. Seriously, just be sure you donít spill the beverage, especially on your portable music player.

Any other questions? No?

Ok, thank you for coming to the safety and security meeting. Have a good day!

 

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