9:39 a.m. - March 30, 2006
The Moral Stew - Part 3
So after the first two parts of this series, you may wonder about me, and why I�m back at church?
My Myspace profile says I�m agnostic � and that�s true to a point, as I will explain below.
Going back to church fulltime wasn�t an easy decision for me.
Liz and I both stopped going to church at about the same time of our lives. She had various reasons for leaving the Catholic Church, and I had my reasons about not attending my Methodist church.
And the more I saw of the �face� of organized religion, the less I liked it.
Yes, I knew men of God who lived their faith and were honest and good people. Moose�s dad is an Episcopal Priest, and he is a pillar. He lives as he teaches, with kindness, understanding and love in his heart for all.
So I knew people were out there like that. And I knew that, for me at least, there had to be some reason, some purpose, some underlying force driving us all.
What it is, I don�t know.
I do firmly believe everything happens for a reason, and whatever reason that is will be revealed in due time.
As I said earlier, I�m not all into that �born again� stuff. I just find it odd that by saying you are �born again�, you get a free pass into heaven, even if you strangle goats.
However, I do believe that the Bible has some important lessons for us, and that God and Jesus are pointing us in the right direction about love, understanding, forgiveness and mercy.
I just don�t feel comfortable staking my name against a denomination, or a total system of belief at this time. I have plenty of questions and doubts.
When we moved back to Crawfordsville, after we got settled, we thought about joining a church for the first time. Now, I�m very private (normally) about what I believe, and I have had many talks with God in my life.
I�ve talked to him when things were down, and when I have done wrong.
I�ve talked to him when things were going great, and when I have done right.
But it was also personal for me, kind of like a peace of mind. It cleared my head, a bit, which is always a good thing for me, as it sometimes gets cluttered
Liz was always more spiritual than I was, but religion or the lack thereof was never a huge part of our life.
However, Liz brought up that she would like to start attending a church, mainly for the sake of Katie and Kristin. The reason being is that while we can teach morality and wisdom at home, we�d also like her to learn about it a bit more formally, if you would. Before we even thought about a church, Katie would want to say a blessing at dinnertime (they did this at her home day-care, a very non-denominational ecumenical prayer of thanks, which we were cool with), so knowing that we decided it could not hurt if we attended a church.
But it had to be the right church, one that fit in with our beliefs, not only spiritual, but socially.
We went to a Baptist church with friends, but that church is too conservative for us, and the paradigm shift from Catholic to Baptist is a bit much for Liz.
By fate, we had some cousins come by the house to see Kristin. They are members of the church I used to attend, and left in a hissy fit over 20 years ago. They talked about the church, and how it�s smaller now thanks to a split they had a while ago, but it�s growing again and needing new blood, and how it�s basically one big family now and finding its true calling.
Then we were invited to a �fall fest� � an outdoor picnic they did in the parking lot. So we went.
I recognized a lot of people there � met the pastor, who seemed like a very nice, earnest man.
So we decided to attend church the next Sunday. And we were welcomed with open arms.
It�s very low pressure, low key. There�s a lot of time for personal reflection and thought and building your own personal relationship with God.
It�s a time for Liz and I to spend together as a family, understanding what family is about, reflecting on our good works and deeds, and asking for forgiveness for those sins we have committed.
Yes, I don�t agree with the pastor on a few subjects, one of them being corporal punishment (it is NEVER right to hit a child � that�s what Liz and I believe) and the other is gay marriage. However, when he discussed gay marriage in a sermon, he couched it in HIS personal belief on his interpretation, and did not say that you MUST agree with him. Sure it wasn�t a dialogue, but at least he knows that others in that sanctuary disagree with him and he�s not going to force them to change their mind.
I would like to engage him on a dialogue on these issues, because I think we can discuss them like rational, thinking adults. That�s all I can ask, and knowing him, it will be a rational dialogue, with respect.
So we�re very happy now. Obviously, I still have questions, doubts, concerns, and I haven�t bought into the whole program. I guess it�s that I look at it Christian theology, especially the Bible and the actions described therein, as more of a symbol and guide, instead of a literal truth.
Jesus was a real person, and the Bible stories of Jesus are great stories filled with symbolism about how to live a life, and what forgiveness means, and what paying the ultimate price for your beliefs are.
But as a man of letters, I question that the events happened as exactly written. As you know there are FOUR accounts of his life, and they don�t all match up all the time.
Then there�s Revelations, which makes a smashing motion picture (well, it would, they kind of made a mess of �The Rapture� with Mimi Rogers) but it�s a nice�story. Lots of allegory and all that but it�s not going to happen like that.
So, yes, I believe in my heart the essays I wrote on Tuesday and Wednesday about my problems with religion and politicians who use religion, and yet, today, I write to you on why I came back to a church. Believe me, had this church not been as accepting and loving, I wouldn�t be here.
They�re allowing us to think, to grow, to form our own ideas. That�s exactly what we want, and need.
Amen.
