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1:34 p.m. - March 08, 2006
One Sided Conversation
EDITOR’S NOTE: While this call never has taken place, it’s very plausible, isn’t it?

“Hello, *SmedIndy*”

“Hi, dear, how is it going?”

“Really? So what’s gone on today?”

“Baby wipes? We just got some at Costco!”

“That long of a list, huh? Well, tell me about it.”

“Well, Kristin is just nine months old. She’s going to pick things up and throw them.”

“Well, that’s just handy for her to get at sometimes.”

“Yes, I know it’s hard to disinfect the cat.”

“Well, spray Sundance with Lysol and wipe him with a bunch of baby wipes so he won’t stink so much!”

“Oh, that’s why you’re out.”

“I know that you have to move her into the pack in play in our bedroom so she won’t smell the cleaning materials. You want me to come home?”

“Ok. So what else?”

“Katie took the sidewalk chalk and did what?”

“Oh, man. You know her whole room is basically white! The floor, the bed, the doors, all white.”

“So it’s rather much white and red now. At least it’s erasable.”

“Oh, so that’s where most of the baby wipes went. Hey, at least she was trying to help.”

“Was it like a Jackson Pollack thing, or was she trying to draw things.”

“Oh, well she may have a career.”

“And on Butch too? He’s normally faster than that.”

“So we have one cat that is covered with, uh, crap, and the other has red chalk all over him?”

“Well, if they hide under the bed, that’s explainable.”

“Oh, there’s more??”

“Yes, I’m sorry I erased that episode on the TiVo. I thought you had watched it!”

“Well, it’s been there for about a week. You know, Stabler gets all huffy and agitated. Munch blames the government. Olivia is a saint and empathizes too much with the victim, and Fin just talks street, yo.”

“I’ll check with you next time. It’s not like it won’t be on USA soon.”

“Oh, and yes I drank the rest of the wine last night after you went to bed.”

“I didn’t think there was that much left.”

“Well, it didn’t seem like that much.”

“My breath was that bad this morning? Oof…”

“Sorry, I’ll do a better job of brushing. I thought I did, twice.”

“Yikes, maybe I did have a bit too much wine.”

“Yeah, and I used the rest of the butter on the popcorn.”

“You never said you were going to do baking today!”

“Oh, no you didn’t.”

“Oh….yeah. I forgot. So wipes and butter. Anything else?”

“Oh, and the computer’s running slow?”

“Well, yeah, I’ve been downloading a few things, but just some songs.”

“Well, uh….”

“Those go in the Temporary Folder, though.”

“Oh, you probably need to clear that out.”

“Oh, well, um, yeah, I did save one. Or two.”

“Yeah, you can delete anything with those words in the title. Or her name.”

“Uh, yes, hon, I still love you!”

“No, I’m not comparing or wishing anything!”

“Seriously!”

“I don’t know how someone named Brandeee got your email address, either.”

“Oh, I could have been on your account by accident.”

“Sorry.”

“Ok, anything else??”

“Yes, I’m sure the couch will be lovely tonight as well.”

 

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