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2:04 p.m. - January 30, 2006
Smed, You Big Dummy....
Idiot.

Dork-o.

Nincompoop.

Moron (or is it Moran?)

Stupidhead.

Eeeediot.

You dumb noodleloaf.

Yep, I called myself all of those names on Sunday.

Why?

Well, I’ll tell you why. (What, I was going to keep it a secret?)

This weekend I had a lot of games to cover, and that means my eating schedule is odd and my eating habits, poor. Totally my fault, I know, but there’s only so much you can get at a high school concession stand. They don’t really have a veggie option, unless the popcorn is cooked in canola oil.

Friday there was a girls / boys varsity doubleheader, so I actually ate my dinner at the concession stand. But I was smart and had water to drink with it.

Saturday I had to cover a boys’ game only, but they start the JV early now, and I wasn’t hungry after eating a late lunch, so I just ate there again.

And what did I have to drink with the hot dog and nachos?

Let’s back up a bit. I told you all here that I now am off caffeine.

Admittedly, I’ve slipped a tiny bit. I think about five times in the last three months I actually have drank a regular coke from McDonalds, just because I had a yen for a fountain drink. But they were at lunch and there were no real ill effects of the caffeine, not like when I accidentally drank caffeinated coffee.

And covering a game I had a Dr. Pepper once or twice, but again, nothing that totally affected me adversely.

The concession stand has only Pepsi products, and didn’t have Sierra Mist, so my choices were limited.

I’m a Coke person. I really don’t like Pepsi, so a cola was out.

And I really didn’t want water and had a yen for something sweet.

So I asked for, and received, a Mountain Dew.

Damn, it was sweet, delicious and tasty.

I felt like an addict getting another taste after being off the horse for a while.

But I was a good boy, and only had one. Mind you, it was a 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew, but I easily could have asked for two more and chugged them down.

(Sidebar: When I was growing up, we always got returnable Coke bottles, but they were 6 ½ ounces and I was allowed only one. That was a reasonable size. (Also, when we drank the bottles, we always turned over the bottle to see what bottle plant that bottle originated from – and the farthest away got something or other, like the chance to punch the other kids in the shoulder.))

So, the game ends, and I do my interview and go home to write the story (which is available on the web here in case you care). Liz is watching “Gorky Park” and I thought when she was done with that she’d come upstairs. So I have a glass of wine as well while I try to make sense of what I just saw (not hard, really).

Well, I finish writing the story and the box score and start surfing the web, and I get this uneasy feeling.

Soon, I realize that I’m WIRED up.

I’m way wired. Vooooom!

Liz comes upstairs around 10:30 and asks if I’m coming to bed. I fumble around and tell her that I’m furry (well, I hadn’t shaved and she didn’t like that) and I just wanted to stay up a while.

So she trundles off to bed and I resume surfing. I get another glass of wine, and then I go downstairs to watch something or other off of TiVo.

Then I grab a beer and go upstairs and surf some more and some more and some more.

I think I read everyone on my buddy list, and then stared clicking on others buddy list.

Anyway, about 1:30 I finally try to go to sleep, but it was actually around two that I do get some shuteye.

And of course, Katie is up by 7:30.

I’m too embarrassed to tell Liz what happened, so she thought I was up to nefarious deeds on the net all night.

Finally, after lunch on Sunday, I tell her.

“I drank a Mountain Dew Saturday at the game.”
“OH! So you WERE wired up. I thought you were just telling me something else.”
“No. And that’s the last time I’m going to drink one of those. But, I tell you what…
“What?”
“It was GOOOOOOD”.

But it was still moronical to do such a thing.

Yeah, I know they have Caffeine Free Mountain Dew, but that’s not the same at all. The real stuff, that’s where the action is.

But I now know I can never have one again.

Snif…I guess that’s OK. I’ll live, I’m a big boy.

 

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