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1:17 p.m. - October 13, 2005
Child Of The 70's Quiz
Are you a child of the 70’s? By that, did you spend a significant part of your childhood between 1970 and 1979?

Are you a wanna-be child of the 70’s? By that, do you have a pseudo-nostalgic yearning for the culture of the 1970’s, for some strange ungodly reason? Have you listened to enough oldies radio and shows on VH-1 to actually be 35 to 40ish on the inside?

Are you someone who spent a good part of your teenage or adult life in the 70’s? That is, do you somehow recall all of the stuff that happened during that time, even though it’s just a blurry haze? (Well, except for Happy Days and the Mary Tyler Moore Show. But don’t ask me about Chico and the Man, or Get Christy Love, or Harry O, because I don’t recall much about them – well, except for the late Teresa Graves, yowza!)

Then, this quiz is for you.

I chose 20 (count ‘em) songs and threw some lines out for you. No, they are not obscure. All were big hits and well known back in those days. So, let’s see how much you forgot to remember to forget about that time, shall we?

Though I’m not offering prizes, doodads, tschotkes, knick-knacks, paddy-wacks, nor am I giving the dog a bone (not even ala AC/DC) – in the spirit of the quiz, please, no googling. If you google, I shall have the Lord Underworld of the Internet come and smite your hard drive.

Let’s begin. The answers are below.

1. Sha-la-la-la-la-la my lady
In the sun with your hair undone
Can you hear me now calling your name
From across the bay

2. There’s something about her hand holding mine
It’s a feeling that’s fine
And I’ve got say – hey!

3. So take a good look around
See what they’ve done
What they’ve done…they’ve done…they’ve done…

4. You – you talk about just every band
But the names you drop are second hand
I’ve heard it all before

5. If you ever get annoyed
Look at me, I’m self employed
I love to work at nothing all day.

6. Crystal ball on the table
Showing the future – the past
Same cat with them evil eyes
And I knew it was the spell she cast

7. Action – I got so much to give
I want to give it. I want to get some too.

8. There’s a ringing in your brain
Because you could have sworn
You thought you heard her say…

9. When the sun shines on the mountains
And the night is on the run
It’s a new day – it’s a new way
And I fly up to the sun

10. We get it on most every night
When that moon is big and bright
It’s supernatural delight

11. Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground

12. Then there was no sound at all
But the clock upon the wall

13. The soldier blues were trapped on a hillside
The battle raging all around
The sergeant cried we’ve got to hang on boys
We’ve got to hold this piece of ground

14. Now this drifter’s world goes round and round
And I doubt that it’s ever gonna stop

15. So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky

16. Said my get up and go must have got up and went

17. If never I met you
I’d never have seen you cry
If not for our first hello
We’d never have to say goodbye

18. Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race

19. About 45 miles southeast of Thibodeaux, Louisiana
Lived a man called Doc Millsap and his pretty wife Hannah
Well they raised up a son that could eat up his weight in groceries

20. But don’t hesitate
Because your love won’t wait

Bonus Question: Name the members of the Osmonds that recorded one of the hits listed above.


Answers:

1. “Thunder Island” – by Jay Ferguson. This hit #9 in the charts in 1978, and you’ll be singing the chorus in the shower for days.
2. “Love Grows” – by Edison Lighthouse. A purely studio band that had this one hit, a #5 smash in 1970. Trivia: the lead singer also sang lead on “My Baby Loves Love” by White Plains, another sugary pop song guaranteed to give you tooth decay, stat. And my sources also say he was a singer in The Brotherhood Of Man, which did “United We Stand”, “Beach Baby” by First Class and the Pipkins’s for “Gimme Dat Ding”, for which he should be drawn and quartered.
3. “Crazy Horses” – by The Osmonds. The notable thing about this is the insanely goofy synthesizer part that opens the song. This was #14 in 1972.
4. “Fox on the Run” – by Sweet. Oh, you couldn’t go anywhere in 1976 without this blasting on the radio, as this hit #5 on the charts and #1 in your hearts.
5. “Takin’ Care of Business” – by Bachman-Turner Overdrive. The favorite band for all you lovers of corpulent Canadians, BTO rode this single to #12 in 1974.
6. “Devil Woman” – by Cliff Richard. To Brits, he was their Elvis, but we here in the States yawned frequently at his work. We didn’t pay attention until this period sounding pop song hit #6 in 1976.
7. “I Love the Nightlife” – by Alicia Bridges. A disco queen, for sure. This was it for her, a #5 smash from 1978.
8. “Good Girls Don’t” – by the Knack. Could they be any more randy? None, none more randy? This follow up to the song EVERYONE knows hit #11.
9. “Una Paloma Blanca” – by the George Baker Selection. You know this song, which went to #26 in 1975, because it was playing in your dentist office all the time. (Also, because Slim Whitman covered it in one of his albums that were sold on TV commercials.)
10. “Dancing in the Moonlight” – by King Harvest. A true pop gem, this song hit #13 in 1973. I saw a photo of this band, they kind of looked like bikers, which was weird, but hey, it was the 70’s man. Far out.
11. “Smoke on the Water” – by Deep Purple. Everyone knows this riff. Everyone can play this riff. This went all the way to #4 in 1973.
12. “The Night Chicago Died” – by Paper Lace. A #1 smash in 1974, they never did anything of consequence again, not that this song is consequential by any means.
13. “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” – by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods. Another #1 smash in 1974, they also faded pretty quickly. Trivia: this song was a smash hit in the U.K. by …Paper Lace! Weird, eh?
14. “Please Come to Boston” – by Dave Loggins. Gack! This #5 hit from 1974 started, and ended his career. Thank goodness. He is the second cousin of Kenny Loggins, so dreck does run in the family. (Did I say that out loud??? Heeee! Just takin’ you right into the danger zone…)
15. “More Than a Feeling” – Boston. I think everyone in the planet between the ages of 35 and 55 know the first Boston record by heart. The riff of this 1976 #5 smash just stays in your head forever.
16. “Sweet Emotion” – Aerosmith. I think you all needed just that one line to get it, right? This hit just #36 in 1975, but FM radio played this thing to death.
17. “Hard Luck Woman” – Kiss. Ah, the dulcet tones of Peter Criss on vocals. Didn’t this sound just like a Rod Stewart song, really? This ‘ballad’ (well, I guess it really is a ballad) hit #15 in 1977, ensuring that teenage girls would still call Dr. Love on occasion.
18. “Mr. Blue Sky” – Electric Light Orchestra. What a wonderful single. There are about a jillion things happening in this tune, which only hit #35 in 1978, but everyone knows it, I’m sure.
19. “Amos Moses” – Jerry Reed. Back in the 70’s, almost any kind of genre could be a top 40 hit. Even this cornpone campy country crud, which went to #8 in 1971 and allowed Mr. Reed to get his own TV show. I do not kid about these things.
20. “Baby, I Love Your Way” – Peter Frampton. Talk about right place, right time. Somehow, someway, his live record became a huge smash, and hardly anyone had really heard of him before. This hit #12 in 1976, while the original was on a 1974 record that edged onto the top 40 of the album chart.

Bonus: The Osmonds were: Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay and Donnie (of course). Jimmy and Marie don’t count – they weren’t part of ‘the group’.

Give yourself one point for each answer, and one point for each of the bonus you got right.

0-5 – You just wanted to humor me, and you didn’t really try. Either that or you were so fried in the 70’s all of your brain cells evaporated.
6-10 – You somehow survived that decade without remembering a lot of this stuff. Bully for you!
11-15 – You know more about the 70’s than you want to let on. It’s OK, go home and find your Pet Rock and bring it into the office tomorrow.
16-20 – You, like me, were roller skating every weekend and listening to WLS at the pool in the summer. (WLS – huge rock radio station in Chicago. 89 on your AM dial. Boogie Check every night with John ‘Records’ Landecker. Boogie Check – Boogie Check – Ooooh! Aaaah! I’ll stop now…)
21-25 – You, like me, are in need of some serious mental treatment, either that or a big ol’ memory purge from your brain!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the quiz! What you need to do now is to sit back, grab some music from the 90’s or the 00’s and purge these songs out of your brain. Otherwise, you’ll be singing “Hard Luck Woman” all night and your (choose one or more: significant other / friends / enemies / kids / cats / orangutans) will look at you like you is a crazy person. (Well, more so than they normally do.)

PS – I really, really wanted to put “Eres Tu” by Mocedades on here, but any snippet of those lyrics would have given it away. Now, I’m just going to leave you and that song will be stuck in your head! “Como una promesa, eres tu. Eres tu…”

 

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